Thanksgiving

Everyone on facebook has been doing a thing they're thankful for each day of this month. I came too late to the game and did not participate, but I'd like to make that list here:

24. The internet! What a fantastic invention...

23. Blue's Clues. You have saved my sanity on multiple occasions.

22. Milliman. You gave my husband a job, and basically set him up for life. What's not to love?

21. Alaska. I'm not there, and I wish I was. I love Alaska. The beautiful summers, the -40, the mountains... oh, Alaska, how I miss you.

20. Being a stay-at-home mom. It's a tough adjustment, and when people come to the door I tend to linger there talking to anyone who will listen to me, but I'm so grateful that I can enjoy this luxury.

19. Delicious food. We spend so much time hating food and hating ourselves... but food is wonderful not because it just sustains us, but because it makes big gatherings better.

18. Good friends who call you weekly from Canada... *wink* enough said. :)

17. Time. Ok, sometimes it's not so cool, but in general I find that time makes pain dull, has a way of working out conflicts, and in general giving us better perspective.

16. Baby kisses! Who doesn't love it when a 14 month old walks up, opens her mouth and plants a big, tongue-y wet one on your mouth?

15. My education. I was blessed to be able to get a quality education for not a lot of money. I really treasure what I have learned, mostly because it taught me to love learning.

14. Good books. Oh, how I love getting lost in a great book. It is one of my favorite things in the whole world.

13. Airplanes! Seriously, though, I love visiting family, and without airplanes that would be such a pain...

12. Our Bishop. We have a great bishop here in Arizona, and i"m grateful for his kindness and guidance.

11. Trials. Silly thing to be thankful for, but truly without the heartache, I wouldn't be nearly as happy as I am today.

10. Physical Health. I am striving to take better care of my body, because I want to be able to run around with my grandchildren. I'm grateful it hasn't given out on my yet...

9. Jordan's siblings and their families. I have such fun with them all, and their homes are always so welcoming to Jordan and I.

8. My family. My sisters, my brother, my step-dad. I love them all!

7. Jordan's parents. They are wonderful people and I am so lucky to have such, easy, helpful, happy in-laws.

6. Music. In all its forms.

5. Financial stability. It's not the most important thing, but I know what it's like to NOT have it, and I much prefer my life with it...

4. Jordan's job. I prayed and prayed Jordan would find a job last year, and we are so blessed.

4. My mom. I love that I"m raising my kids while she's raising her little guys. I can always call her for help. She's always willing to listen.

3. My perfect daughter. She brings a joy to my life that I never expected. She makes me laugh and smile every single day.

2. My wonderful husband. Without him, I wouldn't have this life, my baby, and I would be terribly, terribly lonely.

1. The Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that families are eternal, and I know that no matter what happens to us, as long as we try to make righteous choices and have faith, we will be taken care of.

Just a thought...

It's been 13 years today since my father passed away. I'm always so careful to only say good things about my dad's death, since I really do feel so comfortable with it; I know it was supposed to happen. I have found a great deal of happiness in spite of his passing. And really I just don't want to dwell on the past to much, because the future is so lovely, and there's so much to look forward to.

But I had a thought. Now that I'm a mom (the first anniversary that I have a child of my own), and I can only think that he probably didn't want to go. I mean, I am certain that there is a plan for our lives, and when we have lived a good life we move on and feel great peace. But no matter how great the peace that he felt, I am sure part of him wished he could stay with us here in mortality and see us grow. I say this now, because that's exactly how I feel about my little girl. I pray every day that I won't be taken away from this life because I need to be here, I want to see every moment of her life. And I imagine my father felt the same.

I don't say this to feel sorry for myself, or even for him, but rather to have a greater understanding of what it means to be a parent and how precious our time here is. To cherish each smile, each laugh, and to cuddle away every tear. I am so grateful for my father's wonderful example. His life remains a defining aspect of my life, and of my testimony of Eternal families.

Jordan's Birthday

So, here's the deal. I forgot Jordan's birthday last year. Well, I didn't forget, I just didn't do anything. Hear me out! I was really, really morning sick. I was so morning sick I couldn't make myself get up and make a stupid cake. I don't think we even went out to dinner (because at that point I basically hated food).

So this year, I had to make up for it. I had been thinking about what I was going to do for a month. And it was a TOTAL success. Except... Jordan almost missed it. He came home from work just long enough to eat dinner (Sloppy Joes) and blow out some candles. That's ok, I had fun putting it together anyway. I made these delicious cupcakes:


Yeah, cookie dough cupcakes. They were A-MAZING. I was super doubtful. I'm not on the whole cookie dough train... but Jordan is, which is why I even tried them. I sent a dozen with him to work, and we snarfed down our own dozen. I also got him an ice cream cake from Cold Stones, which was good, but not nearly as good as my cupcakes.


Overall, I think Jordan liked the 2 hours he was able to spend at home. I think he hated the 10 hours he spent at work. Poor dude.

Clara Love

Can I take a moment to totally brag about my beautiful girl? I hope you don't mind, because right now I just can't help it.

Clara is an absolute joy. We love her to pieces. There's seriously no other way to say it, because she has turned into the sweetest (almost) 7 month old. One of my favorite things is to watch her when Jordan walks in the room. Her eyes follow him everywhere and she looks at him with this expression like he is the best thing in the whole world. I say to him, "Look, she loving you!" because that's exactly what it looks like when she stares at him.
I love to hear her make her sweet sounds. While she's busy exploring everywhere she is talking to herself in these beautiful coos. I try to capture them on video, and it never quite gets it right.

She LOVES other people. Whenever we go out, all I hear is "Wow! What a good baby!" She has never, ever cried in public. As a matter of fact, when she is starting to get fussy, but I don't want to quite put her to bed, we go to the store, because #1- she LIKES car rides and #2- She loves going around in the store. When the old ladies talk to her, she smiles right back. She likes looking at people as much as they like looking at her.

Yesterday during church it became especially apparent that she was special (in the same way all babies are special, don't get me wrong). All I heard all day was how cute she is, I even had people come up to me from across the room to inform me of her adorableness. And she, of course, lives up to her cuteness by smiling at all the nice people and making sweet coos at them. When I handed her off so that I could go play the piano, not a sound of sadness. Not a single complaint, she was happy to be with whomever.


I feel so blessed to have her in my life. I love it when she wears yellow because she's like a ray of sunshine.

Day Twenty-One: Another Moment

Alrighty, another moment, huh? Well, I guess I'll just take this moment to talk about my favorite television shows!

So, here's the deal: I actually prefer watching television season as opposed to movies. I like that I have less of a time commitment. I can sit down for less than an hour rather than committing to sit around for as long as 2 hours for a movie. I also prefer the longer, more intricate story lines that can come out of a good television show (note: GOOD television, I find I'm kinda picky now), simply because things can play out over a longer period of time. So, without further ado, my top five television shows:



5. The Office: Who doesn't love The Office? It's awesome! I particularly love Season1 and 2 when the awkwardness was at an all-time high.



4. House: How could such a depressing show be so funny? And so interesting?



3. Stargate SG1: This probably makes me a major nerd. I actually resisted when Jordan suggested it in the beginning because it was so nerdy, but shortly before Clara was born I reluctantly gave in. And I have been addicted ever since. (I also thoroughly enjoyed Stargate Atlantis).



2. LOST: I. Love. Lost. Even with the questionable ending. Jordan and I are STILL talking about it. We had a big realization recently about the relationship between Jacob and Ben the other day that... well, I won't bore you but this television genius.

And finally, my favorite:



1. Scrubs: I can watch an episode three times and still laugh out loud every time. It's just so funny to me! I can understand how other people don't appreciate it, it's pretty silly. But personally I think Zach Braff is hilarious. Internet Five!

Any other suggestions?

(P.S. all of these shows can be found on Netflix Streaming)

EDIT! I totally forgot about Gilmore Girls! Quick and witty gilmore girls! Throw them in there between Lost and House (I forgot about them because you can't watch the episodes on Netflix. Yet.)

Day Twenty: This Month

So, this last month has been spent trying to figure out my life here in Arizona. Jordan's no longer home with me, it's just Clara and I. Which usually isn't bad at all. She's a good, easy baby. I spend some time playing with her, and then let her play with her toys and figure out how to crawl while I try to get some cleaning done.

Really, the last month has just been dealing with loneliness. I think this is something every new mom goes through, usually just earlier than I did. But now, I'm home alone in a new city and I'm just trying to figure out what to do with my time! It's not that I don't have stuff to do, but a lot of this last month has been finding ways to structure my days so I'm not going crazy.

For the most part, I feel like I'm starting to get my daily rhythm. My house is relatively neat, I keep up on the dishes, do those weekly cleaning things that need to get done. I've managed not to spend my days eating bon-bons and watching soaps (by "bon-bons" I mean anything chocolate and by "soaps" I mean Netflix). Clara's on a flexible schedule, and I try to get out every now and then. Going for walks is going to get more difficult into the summer, though...

But really, my biggest struggle has been to make friends. I like socializing. I really do. But how do you actually make friends when you're a mostly home-bound mom? Usually I meet peoplethrough church, but our ward is different. Clara's the youngest baby there (for now), and there are very few small children. So no mother's groups and very few other women in my situation. I did find out that my downstairs neighbor also has a baby... but I have to be brave enough to go introduce myself. This whole friends thing used to happen naturally: I went to class, met people, we ended up doing more and more together and ta-da! I have friends.

So, the trick is I have to go find somewhere to socialize. There's no playgrounds close (and Clara really is too small). I'm working on the whole church thing. Even though there aren't women who are in my exact situations doesn't mean I can't make friends. So there's some hope there. Really, the truth is that it's just going to take time. Until then? Maybe I'll just have to be a little lonely. And I think I'm ok with that.

Clara at 6 Months

I'm in total and utter shock that she's already been alive for half a year. I mean, when I think that we're halfway to toddlerhood... well, I can't think about it or it'll make me crazy.

She had her 6 month appointment last Tuesday. She's 17 pounds 8 oz and 25 inches long, which puts her somewhere in the 90th percentile. That's my big girl! She's still chubby-ish, but really she's just more muscular. Her little round face is adorable!

She's about thisclose to true crawling, although she gets around just fine.



One day I went in the other room as I was cleaning and talking to Jordan on the phone, and she followed me in there from the living room! She had to go all the way down the hallway, turn right and then go a couple more feet pass the laundry room. I was thoroughly impressed. She's loves to grab and eat everything. Mostly because she has a tooth! A little lower front one that is VERY sharp, and she loves to use it (yes, ouch).

She basically hates solids. I haven't been very diligent because it's still just easier to nurse her, but hates everything, even sweet things! We gave her a sweet potato, and she made a sour face. The best luck I had was I gave her a strawberry to munch on, and she went at it, but when she got halfway she started making the sour face again! Because I don't pump much I haven't mixed them with breastmilk yet, so I'm going to try that with our sweet peas tonight. We're going to try some butternut squash here tomorrow and see how that goes as well.



She LOVES to blow raspberries. It's the funniest thing. She'll just be playing and start making lip buzzes (my little singer is already learning her warm-ups....). She also does it when she's really sad and angry, she lip buzzes at me. I'm still trying to figure out what it means...



She is quite the charmer. In Provo, everyone had babies. No big deal. In Scottsdale, babies are a big deal. Every grandma has to coo at them. All the little kids point, "That' s a baby, mama!" And everyone must squish her thighs. Because they are THAT delicious. And she is so good. I have never had her melt down in public, she just smiles and goes with the flow, even if she's been awake for 4 hours (this DID happen one day and she was a total rock star). She just likes to get out and see things and she's so easy.


She's just wonderful. Jordan and I are totally smitten with her. People ask us all the time, "Don't you just spend the whole day kissing her chubby cheeks?" Yes. Yes we do. I mean, come on! Look at those things! They're just begging to be kissed!

Our New Apartment

What a great post for a ton catchup I need to get done. I"ll try to be brief:

We moved! We're in Scottsdale, in our beautiful new apartment and getting into regular life. Our apartment is just great. I love my kitchen (complete with dishwasher... *love*). I have never, ever had a walk-in closet or a bathroom attached to my bedroom. Small things, but I feel like I'm living in the lap of luxury. It has big of windows that let lots of light in (a bit of a bittersweet thing here in Arizona) that make it feel very light and open, which I really like.

I also LOVE the location. We're three minutes from Jordan's work. There's a Safeway a block away. I have never, even in my life been closer to a Target than to a Walmart, but I LOVE it (Target is next to Jordan's work, about 3 minutes away, Walmart is across the freeway, about 5 minutes away). We've got a pool and a exercise room (which thank-you-very-much I use everyday).

Overall, we're pretty happy. We're looking at MAYBE getting a house in the next year or so. The problem is that we just love being so close to Jordan's work, and the houses around here are rather expensive. I could I stand apartment life longer than a year? I'm not sure. I really do want a backyard for Clara to play in as she becomes a toddler. The point being that it's the perfect place for us now.

Day 19: Something You Regret

I honestly regret ever being mean. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect now and I'm sure that I come off as mean sometimes to someone, and I totally regret that. I can think of this one time in high school I said something really mean to another girl. I still think about it and regret it.

Other than that, I have a pretty happy life and I'm happy with where I am now! Let's end this on a happy note....

A Frosting Recipe

Ok, ok, some back story. I. Love. Frosting. It's basically my favorite thing about cake. I mean, really, the cake is there to decorate the frosting in my opinion. My mom tells a story about when I was a kid, I went to a birthday party, ate all the frosting off my piece and went back and asked for "more frosting please." I love it. But really, really good frosting recipe are sometimes hard to come by. I have always struggled with vanilla buttercream. The recipe I usually used was always extra, extra sweet. Like, makes my cheeks pucker kind of sweet. It was good, but not awesome.

So then I tried a Vanilla Swiss Meringue Buttercream, which was good, but very, very buttery, and a very involved recipe. I actually rather liked it, but Jordan thought it was too buttery (and I received mixed reviews overall). If you ever have extra time and want something a little different, I suggest trying it. (I got it from a foodie website I love: Annie's Eats. I don't try EVERYTHING from there, but if nothing else I just love to browse... her photos are SO beautiful).

Ok. So I can't use that recipe all the time. Well, I decided to check Annie's site again (because I get the feeling she loves frosting as much as I do), and I found a happy medium between the two. Not too sweet, but not too buttery for Jordan (because, basically, nothing can ever be too buttery for me), and less work. Here's the recipe:

Easy Vanilla Buttercream
Ingredients:
20 tbsp. (2 ½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 ½ cups confectioners’ sugar, sifted
1/8 tsp. salt
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tbsp. heavy cream

Directions:
In a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat butter at medium-high speed until smooth, about 20 seconds. Add confectioners’ sugar and salt; beat at medium-low speed until most of the sugar is moistened, about 45 seconds. Scrape down the bowl and beat at medium speed until mixture is fully combined, about 15 seconds. Scrape bowl, add vanilla and heavy cream, and beat at medium speed until incorporated, about 10 seconds. Then increase the speed to medium-high and beat until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes, scraping down bowl once or twice.

I hope you like it!

Day Eighteen: Your Favorite Memory

Your favorite memory?

Who has one single, favorite memory?

Weird. Um, I guess if I have to pick one, I pick the moment they brought Clara to us after she was born. The actual moment she was born I was pretty exhausted. And confused. I really thought she was going to be a boy, and then she wasn't, and then suddenly the whole room was super busy with activity, and I couldn't figure out what to pay attention to, so I just kept asking Jordan if she was really a girl, and the next thing I know they're telling me that she's having a little trouble breathing so they need to get her on the CPAP machine in the NICU and I couldn't even think strait, it was all happening to fast and I was so wiped out...

But a couple hours later (after the most delicious Sprite I've ever had in my life) at 3:30 in the morning, they finally brought us our baby. And, oh she was so perfect! Jordan picked her up and said, "Oh, Amanda, she's so cute!" and I could literally see his heart melt. Even three hours after she was born she was so alert and bright-eyed. All we could do was admire her perfection. We didn't sleep until 5 am that morning, but I don't even remember being tired.

Day Seventeen: Your Favorite Birthday

Seeing as tomorrow is really my 25th birthday, I thought this post was fitting! I don't really have a favorite birthday, but I have a top ten countdown of my favorite birthday moments... so here we go:

10. Buying my own cake when I turned 20 years old in Nacogdoches. It was late at night, and the only cake left was a baby shower cake. I wanted a baby, so it was pretty much perfect!

9. Sitting outside the MOA at BYU with Jordan on the morning of my 23rd birthday. I was telling him how all I wanted to do that day was pet a kitten. :) It was very sweet and romantic.

8. For one of my younger birthdays (6, I think?), I wanted a tiered cake like a wedding cake for my birthday. That's all I wanted. I asked basically everyday. I remember obsessing over that cake. And my dad totally made it happen.

7. When I was a freshman in high school, I turned 15 during our flight on our way to New York. Everyone sang Happy Birthday to me. I was the only freshman and pretty shy, so I thought that was pretty darn awesome.

6. I turned 11 during a trip to Juneau with the jump rope team during a competition (this is so for real, btw). I was pretty nervous about it, even writing a story about it a month earlier for creative writing. They all gave me a surprise party! It was the first one I ever had, and I was SO happy!

5. I was pregnant last year (turning 24) and we went to Tucano's, which made me sick (not hard to do). We went to see Alice in Wonderland which made me naucous (not surprising). But Jordan fixed all that by getting one of my favorite board games: Dominion. I was sick, but having a blast!

4. My first birthday. I don't remember it. I don't even know if I have a picture, but it seems important enough that I simply managed to make it to that first year to mention it.

3. For my 18th birthday, I was in New York with my high school choir again! I visited the Empire State Building, went shopping, and then got a surprise party in the hotel with the most delicious cake and tons of presents. I mean, seriously, 18th birthday at the top of the Empire State Building? My life rocks.

2. When I turned 21 I was in Nacogdoches. The normal way to celebrate that is to go drinking. I, of course, do not participate in such traditions, so during opera rehearsal (Marriage of Figaro) two of my friends brought me a cake. Not just any cake, an amazing IGLOO cake. It was SO COOL! And it must have taken a lot of work. Thanks Mandy and Bonnie!

1. The most famous of all birthdays: Jordan was home from his mission just short of a month. He took me out to the Turtle Club(the most delicious and expensive restaurant in Fairbanks). I thought he was going to propose. He did not. I decided I had never tried the lobster, and wanted to try it. It said "At Market Price." I assumed it couldn't be THAT expensive, right? Oh, yeah, it was $55. And I liked Jordan's prime rib better.

Day Sixteen: Your Dreams

Ah, dreams. I think they're a very interesting thing to ask a stay at home mom for two reasons:

1. We're too sleep deprived to remember our dreams. Really, the only one-true dream is about more sleep.

2. In general, this IS our dream. Or, at least it is for me. I went strait from getting a Masters into Mommy-hood. It doesn't get much better than that!

It's hard for me to even talk about my dreams, because I have very loosely fitted "goals." I would like to start some voice lessons, both teaching and taking them. I'd like to audition for a couple of things. Maybe teach at a community college, maybe start my doctorate (very, very slowly).

Really, I have things I want to do, but my end goal is very cloudy... I'd like to perform, but only very part-time. I'd like to teach, but only very part-time.

See, the truth is that I am very happy with my life. And, at this point, I'm willing to go where it will take me. Things are going so well, I'm far more concerned something bad will happen to ruin it all than to really thing of things I want.

So. Dreams. Yeah. I'm very happy with my life. I dream that we'll have more children, that we'll be able to provide for them, that I'll continue to be able to stay at home with our babies, that they will be able to see me doing something I love, and that we'll all just keep trying to do the right things. And if some trial should come our way, I feel confident that we could meet it with strength and happiness.

Bad Day

I just need to get this out. First, I am STILL grateful that we got a job, and frankly it's probably way whiney of me to even be complaining... but, well, sometimes you just have a bad day. I hate moving.

Yesterday as I was walking out to do visiting teaching I tripped over the last step and twisted my ankle so badly I honestly thought I broke it. Jordan and I debated the merits of going to the emergency room, and I'm glad we didn't because I'm sure it's not broken now (at the time I was genuinely in a significant amount of pain), but it's a pretty nasty sprain. It's hard to get up and down and walk around the apartment as effectively as I need to in order to pack and care for a cute little baby. Lame.

Lately, Clara has decided to take 20 minute naps. This is actually probably my fault because we haven't been as consistent with her bedtime because we're so busy getting stuff done/saying goodbye, and so she's starting to get sleep deprived. But man o man is it frustrating when I go to start to do something and she wakes up about 5 minutes later, clearly still exhausted. People have offered to help and watch her so I can get more done, but how can I send her to people like this? It doesn't seem fair to say, "Here, put my kid to bed. She'll wake up crying in 20 minutes, but thanks anyway!"

First, I couldn't get my apartment listing on Craigslist. So then I got it on KSL, had two responses who both came and saw the apartment (which I just think is the best place ever) and decided to go with someone else. I finally did get it on Craigslist, got two responses but both decided it wouldn't work. It's SO frustrating! I should have never signed that year-long lease (they were pretty forceful about it) and really pushed them to do month-to-month (I don't know if I would have won, but I wish I had put up more of a fight).

On top of all of this, I'm leaving and I wish I could spend time with everyone. But here I am, stuck in a stupid apartment that one sell and doing the one thing I'm pretty sure I hate most in the world: Moving.

Alright, pity-party over. It's going to be ok, the apartment WILL get rented out, Clara will feel better when we have a normal schedule in Phoenix, and most importantly I can stop moving.

I really, really hate moving. Did I mention that already?

Another Blog!

Alrighty, not everyone may be interested, but... maybe you are. One of my favorite pass-times is to read, including current events. And I often have an opinion that I don't necessarily feel comfortable expressing on this blog. So I've started a new one, that deals mostly with current events, or commenting on trends, or maybe just discussing something I read that I thought was interesting. I started because I enjoy having intelligent conversation about what's going on in our world. Feel free to go on, comment, and maybe even write a post stating your OWN opinion. I'm not interested in having arguments, but thoughtful conversation (that includes people who don't necessarily agree with me). And, certainly, if you just like Happy Mommy Amanda and not so interested in loud, opinionated Amanda, keep reading this one! But for those adventurous souls, you can find my thoughts here.

Enjoy!

5 Months Old!!!

This is ridiculous. How can time go by so fast? And how can she change so rapidly in such a short period? I was thinking today of how my life has revolved around nursing her for the last 5 months! Every 2-5 hours for the last FIVE MONTHS I've been tied to this beautiful creature. And it doesn't bother me nearly as much as I thought it would...

Ok, lets see if I can break this down:

-Clara's favorite and most impressive trick by far is rolling over. She can go from her back to her front very easily and quickly. For some reason she's slower from her front to back (which is weird because that's what she did first). She can go all the way around to get somewhere.

-Grabbing things! She was a bit of a late grabber. Just not that interested in using her hands. She's still ok with NOT grabbing everything (which, I won't lie, is fabulous), but she's getting more and more bold.

-Very, very close to sitting up. Actually, she will sit up on her own for quite a while, but then if she bends the wrong way she comes toppling down. So... this is a "mostly." I say by 5 1/2 months she'll be a pro!

-Sucking her thumb. So, so, so cute. Indescribably cute. I should stop her, but I can't. It's too adorable.

-She's a TOTAL Daddy's girl. Poor thing is going to be heartbroken when dad has to work all day and she's stuck with Mommy. Daddy, somehow, always makes everything better for her. He'll go to put her to bed, and the next thing I know I hear her (very adorable) belly laugh.

-It's just amazing how she's discovering how to use her body. She bends all sorts of ways now. Arching her back to look behind her, lots of twisting, and TONS of wiggling.

-Lately she's started to jabber a bit more. Really, she just has a new sound that sort of sounds like yelling when she's decided she's bored and wants attention. It's basically "fake crying." She's upset, but not sad or angry. It's also very funny to hear this used to be quiet baby making such a big deal about getting her toy back.

-Still no hair. *sigh* My sister-in-law Anna recently had a beautiful new baby girl, Lizzie, with TONS of dark hair. We called her husband Mike and told him that we're having "hair envy." Jordan likes to remind me that this is my fault. He had tons of hair (like Lizzie). I was bald until I was two. Poor Clara...

-In our new ward, I'm fairly certain she is the the youngest. Actually, I think she's the only baby under the age of 1. Which is SO weird coming from a BYU Married ward. But it does get you a LOT of attention. She's just TOO CUTE!

Enjoy this video of Jordan making her laugh!

Day Fifteen: Your First Kiss

Ok, I won't lie, part of the reason I've been putting off writing this is because I've been debating telling the truth. Everyone else has been talking about their kiss when they were 5, or their first kiss with their husband. Well, my real first kiss is too funny not to tell. So, here it goes:

I was 17. This was during the unrequited love period with Jordan, I was still pretty obsessed with him, he was still with Sarah, that whole sob story. I was helping out at a Cub Scouts thing and there was this guy I had met the year before. I thought he disliked me. He never talked to me, always seemed to leave the room when I got there, etc. Well, it was strange, because this time I kept catching him looking at me, and eventually he got up the nerve to ask me out.

I. Was. Shocked. I never viewed myself as an exceptionally pretty person, and no guy had ever come up to me and actually asked me out. I didn't even have a chance to consider if I was actually interested, I was so shocked that I said yes automatically.

We went on a date the next night. I didn't really know what to think... I really thought this guy disliked me before, and now I find out he actually has a crush on me? Too weird (clearly my self-esteem needed some work). We went on a date, and he took me to a really lovely restaurant, which was so kind and totally intimidated me. I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu because I was too shy to order anything else. We talked a bit, and I enjoyed myself, although I wasn't sure what to think. We went to see Finding Nemo at the movie theater, which was fun.

At the end of the night we were saying goodbye, when he asked for a kiss. I. Was. Shocked. (for the second time). I didn't even have a chance to think about it, I said yes automatically. Yes, again. And no, this is not the type of thing you want to say yes automatically to.

We broke up about 2 weeks later (he left, wasn't LDS, etc). The best thing that came out of it, however was the fact that I realized that pouring myself into Jordan (who still was dating someone else) was essentially a waste of time. Boys were interested in me, why was I wasting my time one someone who didn't particularly care? This seems like a harsh thing to say about my husband, but it was probably the best thing that could have happened. Because I wasn't idealizing him any longer and we could just be friends, things developed more naturally. I"m certain that because I stopped being infatuated with him when I was 17, we were able to become a real couple when I was 19. Thank you, boy-who-gave-me-first-kiss, for showing me I was someone worthy of love and admiration.

Update

Yes, I know I'm failing at my 30 day challenge. In my defense, I"m too busy. So we're going to take a little "hiatus" from it and just plow through the next few busy weeks. I have SO much I need to get done. The good news is that a LOT of it can be done from home with phone calls and the internet (thank you Ensign and renter's insurance). But there's just a lot of little odds and ends that need to be taken care of before I can leave.

We got an apartment! It's 3 minutes away from Jordan's work. We haven't seen it, so here's to hoping it's as great as the internet says it is! We're looking for someone to take over our apartment. lame. But, yeah, just chugging a long and trying to get everything in order! Wish us luck!

The Job

Well, we knew someday it would happen, but it seemed like it never would. And here it is: we have a job! Well, Jordan has a job. He'll be working for Milliman in Scottsdale, AZ. We're SO excited, but we can hardly believe it's actually happening. And so quickly!

It's the perfect place for Jordan to begin his career. Small office (he'll be the 8th person) in a big company (you can find Milliman in every major city). It's a consulting company (rather than an insurance company like BlueCross BlueShield or Travelers) so he'll work with clients and get a really broad set of experiences.

I've been saying for months that we're willing to go where ever we're needed, and I can say we're definitely eating our words. :) I can't say Arizona was on our top picks of places we wanted to move. The summers are going to be HOT! But we are willing to go anywhere and be happy, and that includes Arizona. That being said, May-September, you can find me indoors right next to the air conditioning...

I just have to take a moment and talk about how grateful we are to our family and friends who have been fasting and praying for us. We had a family fast at the beginning of the year, where both my parents and siblings and Jordan's parents and siblings fasted that we would get a job. We did this knowing full well that we may NOT get a job, that it might not be what Heavenly Father has in mind for us. We are so grateful that things have worked out the way we hoped.

I kept hearing a quote this week at church, "Pray as if everything depended on the Lord, but work as if everything depended on you." I wish we could say that we totally lived up to this, but we're human and I can't say we did everything we could to find a job. So much credit goes to Heavenly Father for helping us find the right people at the right time. I know He has a plan for our lives, and I have seen His hand in all that we do. I hope that this can stand as a testament in our lives about the importance of prayer, obedience and faith.

Day Fourteen: What I Wore Today

This again? I so don't care about clothes! It's just too bad. At least I had church today, so I wore more than pajamas...

I wore a black skirt and a red shirt, and some very cute new shoes. I wasn't super happy with the way I looked, but you know, at least I got this cute baby out of the whole my-body-is-a-disaster-zone thing. :)

To distract from the other... unpleasantness... here are some pictures of the sweet baby!

Day Thirteen: This Week

Well, this has actually been a really interesting week with some pretty big news... that'll come around Thursday!

Sunday: In Alaska, I woke up pretty sick but still had to sing in 2 wards. So I got tons of salt water up my nose and took a decongestent and toughed it out! It was really cold... I mean, REALLY cold. -40 kind of cold. So only one hour church. Spent time with our families that day and spent the night packing.

Monday: Almost missed our flight in the morning. Both Clara and I are pretty sick and I"m freaking out about us flying and getting ear infections. Even though we couldn't take on the car seat this time, all the flying went exceptionally well! Everyone complimented us on what a good baby she is, and then warned us that it's not possible that we'll have another baby as good.

Tuesday: Big shopping day! Groceries and tracking down an alternative to Clara's swaddler. We've been talking about getting rid of the swaddler for some time now, but have been putting it off because she sleeps SO well in it. Anyway, we picked up a sleep sack for her.

Wednesday: A visit to the pediatrician for Clara! She's 16 lbs 5 oz and 26 inches long. She's no longer in the 95th percentile for weight (she's in the 80th), but in terms of hight she's now in the 97th percentile. I thought she was starting to look more muscular and a little stretched out rather than exceptionally chubby. She's doing great! I've been concerned about her lack interest in grabbing things, and the doctor said it's something to watch but not being overly concerned about. And then, that same day, I got this video:




It was so cute, just trying to figure out how to get that toy in her mouth! Since that day, she suddenly become much more interested in grabbing stuff. YAY!

Thursday: This is where the big news happens. Jordan had an onsite interview in Phoenix for a actuarial consulting job with Milliman. I dropped him off at their airport at 5:30 (ugh) and then proceeded to sleep most of the day because I felt so sick. Jordan had a GREAT interview. A small office, they all seemed to really like him. We'll find out Monday or Tuesday if he got the job, so we're really excited. Anyway, picked him up from the airport at 9:30pm.

Friday: Got a call from the recruiter who scheduled the interview for Jordan in Arizona. She had talked to the main gut at the office who LOVED Jordan. They're going to take the weekend to decide for sure, but if they feel this good on Monday they said we probably got the job. So... it looks really good! Keep your fingers crossed! We decided to go to the temple for the first time since Clara was born, to start the decision making process. Thanks Aunt Kaitlyn for the help!

Saturday: Woke up the morning still feeling awful (I'd been feeling progressively worse all week), so I scheduled a doctor's appointment. Not strep, just a upper respitory viral infection. Nothing much you can do except wait it out. And Clara rolled over multiple times, which is both very exciting and somewhat disturbing, as now she is somewhat mobile.

I know this was long, but I thought the news and videos were worth it! It's been a thrilling week! Follow-up news to come after the weekend!

Day Twelve: What's in Your Bag?

Well, now-a-days, a just carry around one bag: a diaper bag. And in a bit of luck, I JUST cleaned it out the other day, so you can thing I am the cleanest person ever. Here's what I got:

3 diapers
wipes
butt paste
diaper changing pad
mylicon
Nursing Cover
Burb cloth
Extra onsie/pair of pants

Yep, baby central right there.

Day Eleven: My Siblings

I have quite the smorgasbord of siblings these days. It's actually kinda weird, because for the longest time it was just me and my two sisters, Robin and Melanie. We were born in a four year period (my poor mother) and we shared a room... Basically it was just us until I was 20 years old when my mom got pregnant again (SUPRISE!)

Then there was Elyse! Yes, 20 years younger than me, and a 16 year gap between Melanie and her.

After I was married at the ripe old age of 22, I finally got a brother, Liam. He's just about to turn two. Yeah, my mom was pregnant my wedding.

Ok, and then I got married and gained all of Jordan's siblings (he was number six of eight), which was SUPER fun. Oh, and most of them are married, so I have 13 siblings on that side. For a total of 17. I went from two sister's to 17 siblings in a matter of 2 years.

And guess what? They are all the coolest people you'll ever meet!

Day Ten: What I wore today

Ok, true confessions...

I spent the whole day in my pajamas.



Oh, yeah, I"m totally that kind of mom.

(In my defense I was up at 4am to take Jordan to the airport and being sleep deprived made me extra sick. When I wasn't taking care of Clara I was trying to get some sleep.)

Day Nine: My Beliefs

(I'm so behind on this 30 day deal. I'm also so sick. That's my excuse)

My beliefs are at the very core of who I am. I know I can be happy no matter what happens to me because of my faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement. Let me give an example of how the Atonement has directly blessed my life.

I was twelve when my dad passed away. I thought I would never be happy again. When I looked into the future, I saw nothing but darkness. I thought about 5, 10 years down the road... would those days ever come? Despite my fears, I held on to the gospel like a lifeboat. I attended church, seminary, and Young Women's. I tried to be obedient. And when I was the saddest, I looked to my Savior, who said,

"Come unto me, all ye that are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
-Matthew 11:28-30

He knew my pain, an ache that I thought would never go away. Yet I know that through my obedience and faith, I suffer no permanent ill effects from that experience. I feel complete peace about my dad's passing. The world believes that there are pains that simply can not be healed. I know better: the Savior offered himself as a sacrifice so that we all can be whole. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I live the principles of the Gospel because I know they will make me happy and that I will be with my family forever.



If you would like to learn more about the church, please visit mormon.org.

Day... ok, I got confused, but this is the Best Friend one!

Ok, sorry everyone. I got all confused. I did day 8 (a moment) before I did day 7 (your best friend), and then with being sick and traveling and such, I'm super behind. So... here's my best friend:



He's always there for me when I need him. He makes me laugh. He comforts me when I cry. Oh yeah, and he's hot. :)

Day Seven: A Moment

Ok, this whole post of "A Moment" is weird to me. So I'm going to take this "moment" and explain several music things that annoy me.

First of all, I'm not trying to offend anyone. These are just things that happen to annoy me, and I don't think that anyone who disagrees with me is an idiot or anything. I just wish I could fix it. This is just MY opinion, and frankly it's probably pretentious and snooty.



Ok, without further ado, I'm taking a MOMENT to explain Amanda's Top 5 Musical Annoyances:

5. This last week in church I heard a choir sing. They were pretty good. But they sang one verse with just them men. And the men sang the tenor and bass part. No melody. Um... first rule of choir directing: you must always have the melody singing. It doesn't have to be the top part, but the melody needs to be somewhere in there.

4. Phantom of the Opera is not an opera. I swear. I know the word "opera" is in the name, the work itself is a Broadway show. A good one at that! I've seen it twice. It's about an opera, but it is not itself an opera. So, no, I haven't sung a lot of songs out of there.

3. Playing the hymns too slowly. Please, please, in the name of all that is good and holy, PLEASE speed up the hymns! I'm dying here. ALWAYS err on the fast side. If you can't play it that fast, fake it. I can't stand to sing "Praise to the Man" one more time 50 bpm.

2. Along with the previous point, if you see the time signature 6/8, please don't make it 6 beats in a measure. That's not what they mean. Cut it in half and make it two. Look, lets just make a deal that faster is ALWAYS better when it comes to the hymns.

1. No, I don't like American Idol. Yes, they all make me cringe. Also, if I could, I would totally give Taylor Swift voice lessons. She's cute, she's sweet, but she really needs to breath from her diaphragm.


I'm really not mean. These things aren't that big of a deal. But I've wanted to spell them out forever, and I was given a moment...

Day Six: Your Day

I've had a great day so far! It began with the fact that Jordan slept in the room with Clara last night. It's a long story as to why this was the case, but basically Jordan hates the bed in our room, and wanted to see if he could sleep better on a different bed. This is a GREAT set-up for me, btw. I woke up this morning thinking, "Wow! Clara had a great night. I only woke up to feed her once!"

Jordan then informed me that she was up a couple times before 4am to put her binky back in her mouth.

Fantastic, I tell you, fantastic.

Anyway, I woke up this morning to find Jordan changing her (blown-out) diaper and playing with her. This day just keeps getting better. I looked on from a pleasant position of standing up while Jordan was kneeling on the hard bathroom floor giving Clara a bath.

Then, lunch with Kate Delaney who also did a little photo shoot of Clara. It was SO sweet.

I went home for dinner of Chicken Picatta, which was super delicious (I just discovered the joys of capers).

Then I went kickboxing with Kate. Let me tell you, ouch! My friend Kate is awesome, and just got into fantastic shape. She teaches a couple aerobic classes, and from the moment I saw her I started running. She picked me up, I ran to the car. We got to the gym, we ran into the gym. We took the class (which was great, but wow, I am out of shape), and then we ran and walked for a bit on a treadmill, then we ran to the car, ran into her apartment, ran out of her house, and then I ran back into my home to feed Clara. I suppose the running wasn't ALL her fault. We were late a bunch, but still... she keeps me on my toes!

Then I went back home where Jordan, my sister and I watched Indiana Jones, the Last Crusade. Jordan's quite scandalized that I had never seen Indiana Jones, and has made it his personal mission to make me watch it while we were in Alaska. I took the time to make fun of it. I mean, come on! Ten minutes after they get into Venice they find the tomb his dad had been looking for for 40 years? Anyway, I find I'm especially witty during old movies.

Also, I ate ice cream to make up for all that exercise I had been doing... :)

So, that was my day! Fun, huh?

Day Five: My Definition of Love

My definition of love is...

... sitting next to Jordan during church

... my mom playing the piano for me while I sing

... two pink lines that appeared on a pregnancy test

... seeing Jordan play with Clara

... snuggling with Clara first thing in the morning

... watching the snow fall while enjoying a warm hot chocolate with my husband

... not being the least bit annoyed the first time Clara had a blow out all over me (I actually laughed and was a little proud... it was in the hospital)

... seeing Jordan walk off the plan after waiting for him his whole 2 year mission

... laying in bed with Jordan and Clara, bot of us figuring out how to make her laugh




but all of this has purpose because

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Day Four: What I Ate Today

It's currently 11am, and I have eaten one thing so far today:

A banana.

But it was a very tasty banana. I shall write a haiku about the banana:

For breakfast I ate
One Delicious Banana
Donuts are Better

Now, off to find the ice cream.

Day Three: My Parents

This is a really hard post to write! I thought it would be easy, but I realized there is so much good to say about my parents that I would have to write a novel. So, here's my attempt to write stuff about my parents in just a few fragments:




My Mom: Very humble, quiet, shy, and doesn't like the spot-light but very strong. Supportive, busy, hard worker, woke up at 2am to do paper routes when I was a kid, worked on Bachelor's degree from when I was in 2nd grade to the semester after I graduated. Has had a lot of sadness happen in her life, but always able to find a way to be happy.

Short story: After my dad died, we recieved a large settlement from the insurance company. The very first thing she did was write a check for tithing.


My Dad: Very fun and funny, was a "daddy" to his girls. Always knew how to have a good time. An excellent teacher to both his children and his primary classes. Died when I was 12, and this experience has been a defining moment in my life. His memory remains the great testimony of what bring happiness and the power of eternal families.

Short story: When i was 9 I started a paper route. My dad helped me do it every morning at 6am. We would race down the street, each taking a side, and who ever won had to buy the other hot chocolate. The great secret is that he bought the hot chocolate every time.


Rulon: My step-dad, very happy he became apart of our lives, loves my mom a whole lot, gives great advice, a good example of faithfulness and gospel commitment.

Short story: Before Rulon and mom got married, he and i were flying together down to Utah to meet up with my mom. He had never married, and I knew this, so I told him, "You can't have one foot in our lives and one foot out. My sister's and I couldn't handle if you just suddenly left because you couldn't commit." That very same weekend he proposed to my mom, and he has been "all in" ever since.


My in-laws: Excellent example of faith, raised 8 extremely happy, healthy, faithful children, give excellent advise and guidance, is willing to help through anything, some of the happiest people I know.

Short story: When I was having Clara and my mom couldn't come, my mother-in-law, Sue, came down and helped out so much during that time. Her presence and help brought me so much comfort during a time in my life when I was scared and very unsure of myself. Also, I still have some excellent meatloaf in the freezer from when she came and made TONS of delicious food.



If you must know, that was a LOT shorter than it was going to be. I've been blessed with such excellent people in my life that it's hard to keep their descriptions so short, and it hardly can live up to the real thing.

Day Two: Your First Love

As it turns out, Jordan was my first love! Sadly, I was not his first love... this is a story of unrequited passion! Jordan and I grew up in the same ward. I never paid much attention to him because he was 2 years older. But poor 15 year old sophomore Amanda fell for the Senior class man. And, in a cruel twist of fate, he was dating someone else: Sarah (who, btw, was a very nice girl, but for the purposes of this story will be villainized...). Fan-freakin'-tastic.

So, of course, being the strategist I am, I worked on winning him over. The best way to describe it is that I made myself VERY available. I always tried to talk to him, and eventually we started emailing/talking on MSN/actually talking. I was totally infatuated. I mean, come on, how could I help it? He was so smart, so cute, and so interesting. Some of the silly things I did include:

-emailing him as a 16 year old. I know this doesn't seem silly, but YOU go back and read your emails from when you were 16 and you'll understand what I mean (to this day, Jordan threatens to re-read the emails out-loud to me when I'm bugging him).

-Asking him to MY prom when he was a high school grad. He was a great sport and came, but I'm fairly certain he wanted to gouge his eyes out.

-Asking him to drive down to Anchorage with me. I needed to catch a flight, and I was quite conniving knowing that we would be stuck in a car together for 6 hours. This didn't work out, sadly, but I sure did try...

-Going hiking in Denali National Park. I had this great romantic moment planned in my head. Jordan spent most of the time looking at his GPS and commenting how high above sea level we were.

-I tried to play the reverse psychology game. He asked me if he should go visit Sarah for Thanksgiving, and I said yes, he should go, hoping he would see the error of his ways and not go, fall for me, and we'd live happily ever after. I never said my reasoning skills were particularly brilliant at 16.

At the end of my junior year another guy asked me out (another long story I dub the "Sven story"), and I realized I deserved someone who liked me as much as I liked them. So I started looking at other options. I always kept Jordan in the back of my mind as a possibility, but I didn't really think anything would come of it (and it didn't until for another 2 years). But I do remember loving Jordan as much as I could bear, and it hurt quite a lot to not have those feelings returned. I remember asking myself why I cared for him so much back when the love was unrequited: I recognized that I was being crazy. But I realized I saw something really special in Jordan, something amazing and I wanted to be apart of that. And I still feel that way to this day.

Ok, saw it with me... Awwwwwwwwwwww....

Day One: Introduce Yourself!

Hello! I thought this looked like fun, with some fun topics to talk about for the next few weeks. Well, my name's Amanda. I don't have a middle name, which caused me a ton of grief as a child, but now I kinda like it, and I decided not to give my baby girl one either. Oh how the tides have turned.

I grew up in Fairbanks, Alaska, and I want to move back. The cold and the dark really don't bother me. Besides Alaska, I spent 3 1/2 years in Nacogdoches, TX working on my degree in Elementary music. I currently live in Provo, Utah, where I got my Master's degree in Vocal Performance from BYU while my husband finished his degree in Mathematics. I have a beautiful new baby girl names Clara, and I'm kinda vain about her name... come on, it's just too perfect!

I enjoy singing, playing the piano, reading, watching interesting tv shows and playing games with my very cute husband. I'm pretty shy and reserved until you get to know me, and then you can't shut me up. I follow politics and government policy closely, but I avoid talking about them publicly because I hate confrontation. I enjoy a good drama, so one of my very favorite things to do is to read opinion columns/blogs because the ensuing argument (which I don't take part in) is interesting to me. I like finding out about other people. I love to read blogs because I love to hear other individual's take on life.

But really, the important things that define me are my beliefs and my family. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or more commonly referred to as the Mormons. The teachings of faith, humility and charity are virtues I strive to structure my life around. The Gospel guided me through some very difficult times in my life, and I know by following the principles taught by Christ that you can find happiness in any circumstance. My family is directly linked to my belief in the gospel: I believe we are sealed together forever because Jordan and I were married in a LDS temple. The work that I will do with my family is the most important thing I can do.

30-Day Blog Challenge!

Day 01 - Introduce Yourself
Day 02 - Your First Love
Day 03 - Your Parents
Day 04 - What You Ate Today
Day 05 - Your Definition Of Love
Day 06 - Your Day
Day 07 - Your Best Friend
Day 08 - A Moment
Day 09 - Your Beliefs
Day 10 - What You Wore Today
Day 11 - Your Siblings
Day 12 - What's In Your Bag
Day 13 - This Week
Day 14 - What You Wore Today
Day 15 - Your First Kiss
Day 16 - Your Dreams
Day 17 - Your Favorite Birthday
Day 18 - Your Favorite Memory
Day 19 - Something You Regret
Day 20 - This Month
Day 21 - Another Moment
Day 22 - Something That Upsets You
Day 23 - Something That Makes You Feel Better
Day 24 - Something That Makes You Cry
Day 25 - A First
Day 26 - Your Fears
Day 27 - Your Favorite Place
Day 28 - Something That You Miss
Day 29 - Your Aspirations
Day 30 - One Last Moment

I challenge anyone who sees this to join me. It will be fun to get to know each other better!

In Alaska!

We have brought the Baby back to the homeland... I love it so much here, even when it's -40 and dark all the time. I wish I could stay here. Oh well...

The flight was great. Both planes were really empty, so we were able to bring the car seat on and let Clara sleep there, which was so nice! She's such a sweaty baby, we weren't looking forward to having her sleep on us for 5 hours. She slept most of the time, and even when she was awake, she hardly made a peep. Carrying the pack-n-play through the airport was a pain, but other than that our flights were pleasantly uneventful.

Since we've been home, we spend an evening with my family, which was the first time most of them had seen Clara. She, predictably, charmed them (although I think if she had screamed the whole time they still would have adored her). It was so fun to see how big Elyse and Liam are getting! I can't believe how much they look like Jensens. Liam is HUGE! I love his dark hair. I was making cookies, and I walked away from the batter for seriously 30 seconds and I turned around to see Liam up on a chair (which wasn't there before!) trying to steal my cookie dough! Sneaky little guy.

Anywho, I look forward to a relaxing few weeks of catching up with friends and family. And, seriously, enjoying the lovely Alaskan winter. Yay!

A day in the life...

In the last year, my daily life has changed DRAMATICALLY. I've gone from being a full-time student who could basically go and do anything I wanted at anytime, to, well, not so much. Here's a normal day for Mommy Manda (starting at midnight)

1am - Clara wakes me up to eat. Goes back to sleep immediately. I go back to sleep on the coach as a habit, because if she DOES wake back up in the next hour, it's too heartbreaking to get back out of bed.
3am- I wake up in a panic that Clara's died. I go check to make sure she's breathing. She is.
5am - Yay! Four hours again! Clara wakes up to eat, goes back to sleep immediately. I decide to try my luck in my own bed with Jordan... still hoping she sleeps for at least another 3 hours.
8:30am - Clara wakes up to eat (what a great baby giving her mom so much sleep), stays awake. I make myself breakfast, attempt to give Clara tummy-time. I look at the dishes, knowing that I should do them. Procrastinate.
8:35- Clara hates tummy-time. I give in and flip her on her back. I eat breakfast and check email/facebook.
9am - I go peak in on Jordan. Still sleeping. He was up late last night working.
9:15 - Clara starts to get fussy. I put her in her swaddler and get her into her bed.
9:30 - Clara fusses in bed. I comfort her/give her the binkie.
10am - Jordan wakes up, we exchange dream stories. Clara wakes up. I declare that 45 min is NOT a long enough nap, go in and try to get her to sleep longer.
10:15- Clara wakes up again. Hardly long enough. Put binkie back in mouth.
10:30 - Clara wakes up. I give in. She's up. I feed her a bit. I hand her off to Jordan so I can get a break.
10:45 - Still fussy. She really needs a longer nap. I get her ready... AGAIN (worrying that I"m a horrible mother), she goes directly to sleep. I check facebook.
11am - Clara still asleep, I read Babyproofing your Marriage. Glance at dishes again, knowing Clara will be asleep for only so long. Continue to procrastinate.
Noon - Clara wakes up happy. I declare I am the best parent ever. I bug Jordan while he works. We rock. Oh, look, she's smiling at Jordan! She LOVES her daddy! I play with Clara while watching an episode of Gilmore Girls. Still procrastinating dishes, and now it's noon and I still haven't showered/gotten dressed.
12:45 - Episode ends. I glance at the dishes again. I hate dishes.
1pm - Clara starts looking sleepy, back down for another nap (she really only stays awake for about an hour at a time most days).
1:15- Hungry again. I hunt around in my kitchen for food, hating myself for not cleaning. If I cleaned it, I'd feel like cooking.
1:30 - after looking around the kitchen, I realize we have no food to eat. I make a grocery list. Hop in the shower (finally) and get dressed in real clothes.
2pm - Clara's still asleep? AWESOME. I'm running to the grocery store. Tell Jordan to look after the baby.
3pm - return from grocery store with a TON of groceries. Clara's still asleep? We are the best parents ever. Put away groceries. Also, think "I should reorganize my cabinet." And "Those stupid dishes." Continue to procrastinate.
3:15- Realize I never ate. Try to make a healthy choice, but add a cookie to my salad.... Not too bad, right? Now what's for dinner? I also check facebook, briefly.
3:30 - Go check to make sure Clara's breathing. Still breathing. And sleeping. Watch a Stargate. What a stellar parent I am *sarcasm*
4pm - Clara still asleep. I realize the minute I begin the dishes, Clara will wake up, but I finally decide procrastinating any longer will make me the World's Worst Homemaker (partly because I hate cooking dinner in a messy kitchen). I start the dishes.
4:05- Clara wakes up. I feed her.
4:30- I give a Jordan a choice: Dishes or Clara (I'm a great wife, I know). He chooses Clara, I continue dishes.
5:00 - Yay! Dishes are finally done! Now, dinner...
5:45 - Fish tacos for dinner. I wonder if Jordan will like them. Clara is really fussy, I waited too long to put her down for a nap, and now she's overtired. I get her ready for a nap before we eat.
6:00 - Clara's finally down. We start dinner.
6:05 - I'm about to open my mouth to eat food, when I hear Clara cry. I go calm her down.
6:15 - Another bite poised to enter my mouth, when I hear a Clara cry. I debate with Jordan if we should just let her cry a bit, or go calm her again. Jordan puts her binkie back in, comes back and we eat.
6:30 - Clara's still upset. I go feed her a bit and she goes to sleep. Jordan and I watch a Stargate together. I check facebook. Yes, again.
7:15- Clara wakes up. That's ok, she can be awake. she had a HUGE nap earlier, and I want her to sleep tonight.
8pm - Get Clara ready for real bed. Like, until the morning. Get her in pjs, read a book, have a nice nightly feeding, and then into her pack-n-play she goes. She goes directly to sleep, I congradulate myself on some rockin' parenting I'm doing here. Jordan and I watch the lastest Office episode to celebrate our success.
8:45 - Clara cries. What? She's supposed to be asleep for the night. I go in and her eyes are WIDE awake, and she smiles at me. No! Stop being so cute! You're supposed to be asleep! The book says you should be sleep! I rock her for 3 minutes, put her back in bed, walk out.
8:50 - Clara starts crying. I let her cry for five minutes.
8:55 - I go in and calm her down. Put binkie back in, and leave.
8:58 - Clara cries. I let her cry for 10 minutes.
9:08 - I go in and calm her down. Put binkie back in, leave.
9:10 - Clara cries. I give up, put her in her swing in her dark bedroom. She goes directly to sleep. I'm such a lame mom resorting to the swing to get her to sleep...
9:15 - Jordan plays some football while think about cleaning the kitchen again. I swear someday I'll be on top of this whole homemaking thing... I decide to read a book instead.
10pm - Clara's well asleep, I go and stop her swing, but leave her in it. She stays asleep. Jordan's working on my computer, so I finally go and put those things away that will go bad/make us sick. Oh, yeah, I might have an addiction. Yet AGAIN I check facebook. I feel guilty that I haven't done tonight's dishes, but managed to check facebook...
10:30 - I'm tired. Going to bed. I go in the room and very, very, very carefully move Clara from her swing to her bed. I stand there a minute. She doesn't move. I dare not be happy. I walk out and slowly get ready for bed, bug Jordan about coming to bed. He's still working.
11pm - Clara's still asleep, I'm ready for bed, Jordan's brushing his teeth. I double check that she's breathing before I go lay in my bed. Good. Jordan and I talk for about 15 minutes about how cute she is. Then we debate on when to have another one (Amanda: "But we did such a great job the first time!" Jordan: "You're already crazy, can't we wait until you're normal again?")

Yeah, that's not how my life was a year ago. But guess what? All I can think about is how darn cute that baby is! Oh, and worrying about her next nap. And checking facebook.

Growing like a weed

She's huge! My baby is getting so big. And so cute. At this point, all you have to do is look at her to get her to smile. She's very easily entertained. She doesn't laugh all the time, but her smiles are sweet and generous. My favorite thing to do is to just sit and look at her, and watch while she gives me gorgeous smiles and cute, impish looks.

She's also quite the talker. One time I was laying down with her, and I was telling what a cute baby she was, and every time I opened my mouth to start to say something, she would coo at me... before I could finish staying my first word! Already interrupting me, silly girl. I love her smiles, but I think my favorite is to hear her talking to me.

Jordan and I are finally cracking down on the sleep! I'm a bit of a softy, so I've been pretty generous with her sleep. Well, now she's a big ole 3 month old, and she's going to be sleeping right! The book that I use to help me is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, which I really enjoy. It talks a lot about how sleep is best for babies/children, and what they're developmentally ready for. The biggest point that the author talks about is that so often our babies get overtired, and when they're overtired they have a harder time getting to sleep. It's important to watch for the sleep signs BEFORE they get fussy, because that's when they'll fall asleep the easiest and stay asleep the longest.

Our big problem with Clara is that she wasn't going to bed for the night until 11 or midnight, and at her age they really should be getting down at 6 or 7pm. So we've started our campaign. Right now we're working on just 8pm, but in the next few weeks I'm aiming for 7pm, earlier if she starts looking tired. It's going alright... she's definately sleeping better in her own bed. At this point she's definately asleep by 10pm, wake up to eat at 2am and at 6am and is up for the day at 8am. Not too bad. She naps pretty well, so if we can get her bed time worked out, I think we'll be ok. I try not to get my hopes up, though, because then I just end up getting disappointed when things aren't as easy as I was hoping.

As long as she gets adequate sleep, Clara is a very sweet, happy baby. She's so easy! I know this phase won't last forever (soon I'm going to have to be chasing her around everywhere... *sigh*), but she's easily entertained and if you put her in one spot, she stays there. Oh yeah, have I mentioned that she's ridiculously cute?

What a year... a busy busy year...

So, I saw someone else do this, and I thought it was great to think back. So, here goes the major events of the year by month!

January: Jordan and I started our last semester of school! Yay for imminent graduation!

February: Found out I was pregnant! I was telling Jordan the other day, "Oh, remember when Clara was just two pink lines?" He proceeded to tell me how she wasn't REALLY two pink lines, but I thought it was cute...

March: I'm quite sick, like, all the time. Jordan has a couple of interviews. Wishing the semester was over.

April: Jordan graduates from BYU!

May: Drove to Missouri for Family Reunion and had a blast!

June: I left Jordan and went to Alaska, missed him tons, so I came back.

July: Grandpa Hull passed away, so we spent time with LOTS of family in Roy that weekend. Drove to Connecticut when I was 30 weeks pregnant... quite the trip. Visited with Kelly and Braden and THOROUGHLY enjoyed ourselves. We still want to move the Hartford...

August: Drove back from Connecticut when I was even MORE pregnant, which was even harder than getting there.

September: Desperately wanted the baby to come out. I was horribly uncomfortable, sleeping between the couch and bed. Put on bed rest, and finally induced on the 27th... Clara came into the world (a girl! what a surprise!) on the 28th and we were so very happy! She was so cute and an absolute Joy!

October: We'll call this "the lost month." I vaguely remember feeding the baby... and feeding the baby more.. and when I wasn't feeding the baby I was sleeping.

November: Back to Missouri for Thanksgiving!

December: Tyler's all married, and we had our first Christmas by ourselves, and had a great time!

All in all, it was a beautiful, busy exhausting year, and it will remain in my heart one of the best years of my life. I have a perfect husband, a beautiful daughter, and a full, happy life.