Day Fifteen: Your First Kiss

Ok, I won't lie, part of the reason I've been putting off writing this is because I've been debating telling the truth. Everyone else has been talking about their kiss when they were 5, or their first kiss with their husband. Well, my real first kiss is too funny not to tell. So, here it goes:

I was 17. This was during the unrequited love period with Jordan, I was still pretty obsessed with him, he was still with Sarah, that whole sob story. I was helping out at a Cub Scouts thing and there was this guy I had met the year before. I thought he disliked me. He never talked to me, always seemed to leave the room when I got there, etc. Well, it was strange, because this time I kept catching him looking at me, and eventually he got up the nerve to ask me out.

I. Was. Shocked. I never viewed myself as an exceptionally pretty person, and no guy had ever come up to me and actually asked me out. I didn't even have a chance to consider if I was actually interested, I was so shocked that I said yes automatically.

We went on a date the next night. I didn't really know what to think... I really thought this guy disliked me before, and now I find out he actually has a crush on me? Too weird (clearly my self-esteem needed some work). We went on a date, and he took me to a really lovely restaurant, which was so kind and totally intimidated me. I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu because I was too shy to order anything else. We talked a bit, and I enjoyed myself, although I wasn't sure what to think. We went to see Finding Nemo at the movie theater, which was fun.

At the end of the night we were saying goodbye, when he asked for a kiss. I. Was. Shocked. (for the second time). I didn't even have a chance to think about it, I said yes automatically. Yes, again. And no, this is not the type of thing you want to say yes automatically to.

We broke up about 2 weeks later (he left, wasn't LDS, etc). The best thing that came out of it, however was the fact that I realized that pouring myself into Jordan (who still was dating someone else) was essentially a waste of time. Boys were interested in me, why was I wasting my time one someone who didn't particularly care? This seems like a harsh thing to say about my husband, but it was probably the best thing that could have happened. Because I wasn't idealizing him any longer and we could just be friends, things developed more naturally. I"m certain that because I stopped being infatuated with him when I was 17, we were able to become a real couple when I was 19. Thank you, boy-who-gave-me-first-kiss, for showing me I was someone worthy of love and admiration.