I love that I'm getting to that part of parenthood where I have stories. Cute little stories about a cute little girl.
Clara is consistently a pretty obedient child, especially for only being 1. Sure, she has her moments (like the entire time we were in Utah for Kaitlyn's wedding... that was torture), but when she feels secure and knows her environment, she almost always does what I say.
Back in July when we were in Alaska, Grandma Hull was doing some baking for Kaitlyn's reception up there. They were making those peanut butter cookies with Hershey's kisses in them. Clara's 5 year old cousin Hannah was up on the kitchen bar helping Grandma by unwrapping Hershey's kisses. They decided they wanted Clara to help too. I was a little nervous; Clara didn't know what Hershey's kisses were, but how long until she put on in her mouth and realized it was chocolate? And then made a huge mess? But Grandma and Hannah were insistent, and so up Clara went onto the bar to help. And she did really well for about 5 minutes! Then she did it... she put one in her mouth. Grandma saw and said, "Clara, no, don't eat it!" Grandma swears she saw Clara practically roll her eyes, sigh, take the chocolate out of her mouth, put it on the counter, and then proceeded to spend another 15 MINUTES unwrapping Hershey's kisses and decidedly NOT eating any more (ok, so maybe she has an attitude about being obedient...). Hannah got bored before all the Hershey's kisses were unwrapped, but Clara stayed until they were ALL unwrapped for Grandma. What one year old does that?!
While we were in Utah, we shared a hotel room with Jordan's brother Michael and his wife Anna (who got a kid free weekend!). I was feeling a bit guilty that they had to share a room with us and Clara, and I was really worried she would wake them up. She definitely did wake up a few times in the night and woke them up, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. But the most amazing thing was the mornings. Mike and Anna would wake up about half an hour to 45 minutes before us and start getting ready. They would see Clara awake, and Clara could see Jordan and I still sleeping, but she wouldn't make a sound. She just smiled at Mike and Anna as they got ready, and quietly waited until Jordan and I woke up. No, really, what toddler does this?
When it's time for naps or bed, I always ask, "Clara, are you ready for sleep?" and she ALWAYS says, "No!" Of course she doesn't want the fun to end. But then I say, "Alright, let's go upstairs! Time for naps!" and she obediently follows me up. Today she even ran ahead of me and yelled, "Let's go!" and hurried me up the stairs. I had to go into another room once we got upstairs, and when I came back I expected her to be running around like a crazy person expecting me to chase her down. But no, there she was, in her room, laying on her back right next to the diapers, waiting patiently for me to come change her diaper before I put her into her nap outfit. AND SHE'S 1!
Anyway, she is such a fun kid, and it's been so great that she's been obedient. It makes me not feel too anxious to have another baby. She seems to have learned what it means to be "gentle" and she always reacts to when we say "no." Of course two kids is going to be an adjustment, but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel totally grateful Clara was my kid. I really believe her sweet and kind disposition is going to make all the difference in the transition from 1 to 2 kids.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Pregnancy Update
Well, I'm entering the last weeks of pregnancy. I'm almost 34 weeks pregnant, and man am I feeling it! The heartburn... oh the heartburn. Bending over is basically something I avoid at all costs. I try negotiate out of picking up Clara. Oh, and the evil, evil restless leg syndrome. Did anyone else have that? It's SO annoying. Sometimes I just feel like my leg HAS to move, at the most inconvenient times.
The biggest, most painful difference between this pregnancy and the last are my contractions. Well, I think they are technically just painful Braxton-Hicks, but they have been with me since about 16 weeks. If I get too dehydrated, if I walk too much, if it's too hot... all of will make me have some pretty breath-taking contractions (not in a good way). The last time I got the flu, I got so dehydrated so quickly that I ended up in the hospital because my contractions were so very painful. Honestly, I haven't had contractions that painful since I was in labor with Clara, and I had pitocin and my water was broken. This weekend my contractions were particularly annoying because I was at my sister-in-law's wedding, where we were staying and walking all over temple square. It was hot, lots of walking, not enough water... it was all very slow going. And the kicker is that I"m feeling pretty certain that it's not even going to mean I get to have Lucy early. I'm almost totally certain I will get to 40 weeks and then some... sigh.
At my appointment yesterday, the first thing the nurse practitioner said when I laid down was, "Wow! That's a big belly!" Yeah, thanks lady. :) Anyway, when did my stomach measurements, she was pretty surprised to find out that I'm measuring at 38 weeks, when I'm only supposed to be 33. Granted, that measurement isn't the most accurate, BUT that's kinda a big difference. So she sent me into an ultrasound. Lots of good news: the baby is head down and unlikely to flip back (yay!), the baby has hair, and a chubby belly (I love that technology can tell us stuff like that!), and everything is looking good. She IS measuring big. They couldn't tell me anything official, but I saw the numbers on the screen. I should be 33 weeks, and she was consistently measuring at 36 weeks. Now, this might not mean much, and I acknowledge that this is also a pretty inaccurate measurement (I can't tell you how many people were told they were having 10 pound babies and ended up having 7 or 8 pounders), but it would make sense. My due date was pushed back by a week early in my pregnancy, of which I have been extremely suspicious. So if you move my due date to September 20th, and then realize that Clara was ALWAYS measuring 2 weeks ahead through the whole pregnancy (even though I'm almost certain her due date was correct), then it would all make sense. I just have bigger-ish babies (Clara was 7lb 13oz at 39 weeks), and my original due date was correct. Anyway, I don't necessarily believe I"m going to go into labor weeks and weeks early, I could even go to my current due date (September 29th), and I"m not particularly worried about a big baby, I think my body deal with it. More than anything I like feeling knowing there's a reason that I feel extra huge, and that perhaps I was right the whole time about my due date (ha!).
The most amazing thing this pregnancy has been how quickly it's gone by! I know I still have 6ish weeks left, but those days are filled wtih busy times with a little girl, cleaning, and hopefully some BYU football here soon. Today I was making a list of projects I want to get done before Lucy is born, and I"m feeling motivated to get stuff done and feel just totally ready for this baby. I'm so excited to meet her!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Parenting Books
I enjoy talking and reading about parenting topics. Partly because I felt totally clueless going into being a parent with Clara, and so I turned to books for support. Anyway, I have a couple of books that I have REALLY enjoyed reading and I feel that have really helped me so far, so I thought I'd share.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth (Best for help with ages 0-5)
This is my baby sleep bible. The reason I like this book more than any other sleep book I've read is because it isn't necessarily about methodology (such as crying-it-out vs. co-sleeping, although he DOES have some tips on that... for the record he supports both, whatever works for your familiy), but it's more about research surrounding children and sleep. The most useful thing I gained from this book was to understand what healthy sleep looked like for various ages, and then offered some tips on how to help them reach that point. But in general, I could decide what I felt comfortable with in terms of actually implementing a sleep schedule. For instance, I really didn't feel comfortable letting Clara cry-it-out before she was 6 months old, and even then I didn't let her cry-it-out through the night until she was almost a year old. But I knew what healthy sleep was supposed to look like, so I used other methods to help her get as much asleep as she needed. I still go back and refer to this book when I have questions about Clara dropping naps or waking up earlier than normal.
Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Neil Karp (Best for help for ages 0-4 months)
I used this book in conjunction with Healthy Sleep Habits to learn how to deal with newborns. I was terrified of Clara having colic. This book made me feel like I at least had some tools at my disposal if I did find myself with a colicy baby. Thankfully, Clara did NOT have colic, but I still found his tips and information to be extremely useful when dealing with little newborns, and now I can't help but look at a newborn and think, "aw, that baby is still kinda a fetus!" Besides being useful, I like how Dr. Karp writes. He is positive and hopeful, and just humorous enough.
Baby-Proofing Your Marriage by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill and Julia Stone (Best for Parents!)
Ok, these ladies aren't really doctors, but they did their research and I agreed with their perspective on marriage, and frankly I just found this book dead useful. I particularly enjoyed the chapters on "What Wives Need" and "What Husbands Need." I found it very illuminating, and it changed the way I approached my marriage after Clara was born. I didn't follow all of their advise, such as suggesting mothers go on a short weekend away while leaving the baby with dad, mostly because I never really felt the need and preparing to go on vacation seemed like more work than I wanted to do, but having a good perspective on your marriage even after the baby is born is so helpful and so needed.
Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay/Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years by Jim Fay and Charles Fay (best for ages 1-18)
So I haven't actually read the original Parenting with Love and Logic, my mother-in-law sent me the toddler book, but I love love love LOVE the parenting principles taught in these books. I actually was able to attend a free seminar last summer, and it was so good. The basic idea is to allow natural consequences to teach your child (instead of you constantly bailing them out of consequences), expressing real sympathy when they have to deal with those bad consequences, and allowing kids to have as many choices as possible. I've been trying to implement the love and logic dialogue into my life, since my first instinct is to always yell and nag (which is NOT parenting with love and logic). For instance, when Clara throws a tantrum, I say, "Babies who throw tantrums have to go to their room for 3 minutes." I don't offer any warnings, that is just the consequence of throwing a tantrum. When Clara begins to whine at me, I say, "I can't hear children who whine." (All of this within reason, of course, as long as her basic needs are met and this isn't just about a communication problem, which because Clara is still learning to talk, we're working through). I try to give her as much freedom to make her own choices as possible, even if that means she might hurt herself a little (not a lot). When she does fall off of a chair, I show genuine empathy that she got hurt (again, when we're not looking at a life threatening problem or a major injury). She is smart enough (and I know she's smart enough) not to make the same mistake again. I have allowed the natural consequences to teach her the lesson, instead of spending all my time trying to get her to not climb on the chair. I really do love this book a thousand times over, I'm going to re-read it over the next few weeks, and I suggest everyone give it a try. It's possible it's not for every family, but I really can not over emphasize how much this book has helped direct my parenting.
ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel (best for ages 1-18)
This is a recent one for me. While I was in Alaska, my mom and I attended a 4 day, 2 1/2 hour a day seminar about this parenting method, and I'm about half way through the book (the seminar was extensive enough that I feel comfortable reviewing the book). This is a great companion to Parenting with Love and Logic because they teach the same discipline principles, but ScreamFree Parenting is about focusing on ourselves as parents rather than on the kids. It says that we as adults need to grow up and be mature in order to effectively be the parent our kids need. My favorite thing it teaches is when we "scream" at our kids (or shut-down, or nag, or any sort of emotional re-activity) we're telling our kids, "I need you to behave so I can behave, because I'm incapable of controlling myself." And what a crazy thing to be telling our kids! The other thing I really liked about this book was the idea that we're not responsible for our children (meaning we can't control how they actually behave or the choices they make), but we are responsible to our children (providing them with the necessities of life, helping them understand consequences of their choices, etc). It means that I simply can't control whether or not Clara throws a tantrum on a plane. That is totally her choice. But I am responsible to her to make sure she is well-fed, has had plenty of sleep, has enough entertainment, etc. And ultimately, I am responsible to her that even if she does throw a tantrum (which she did, btw) not to freak out at her and start screaming, but to be the adult, to stay calm, to help her as much as possible, and to provide reasonable consequences for her choices.
Alright, these are my favorite, most helpful books I've read so far in parenting. I know some people may not be book people, and that's totally ok, but I find that reading parenting books has given me the guidence and confidence as a parent that I wouldn't have had otherwise. If anyone has any other suggestions, I'm always open to recommendations!
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth (Best for help with ages 0-5)
This is my baby sleep bible. The reason I like this book more than any other sleep book I've read is because it isn't necessarily about methodology (such as crying-it-out vs. co-sleeping, although he DOES have some tips on that... for the record he supports both, whatever works for your familiy), but it's more about research surrounding children and sleep. The most useful thing I gained from this book was to understand what healthy sleep looked like for various ages, and then offered some tips on how to help them reach that point. But in general, I could decide what I felt comfortable with in terms of actually implementing a sleep schedule. For instance, I really didn't feel comfortable letting Clara cry-it-out before she was 6 months old, and even then I didn't let her cry-it-out through the night until she was almost a year old. But I knew what healthy sleep was supposed to look like, so I used other methods to help her get as much asleep as she needed. I still go back and refer to this book when I have questions about Clara dropping naps or waking up earlier than normal.
Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Neil Karp (Best for help for ages 0-4 months)
I used this book in conjunction with Healthy Sleep Habits to learn how to deal with newborns. I was terrified of Clara having colic. This book made me feel like I at least had some tools at my disposal if I did find myself with a colicy baby. Thankfully, Clara did NOT have colic, but I still found his tips and information to be extremely useful when dealing with little newborns, and now I can't help but look at a newborn and think, "aw, that baby is still kinda a fetus!" Besides being useful, I like how Dr. Karp writes. He is positive and hopeful, and just humorous enough.
Baby-Proofing Your Marriage by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill and Julia Stone (Best for Parents!)
Ok, these ladies aren't really doctors, but they did their research and I agreed with their perspective on marriage, and frankly I just found this book dead useful. I particularly enjoyed the chapters on "What Wives Need" and "What Husbands Need." I found it very illuminating, and it changed the way I approached my marriage after Clara was born. I didn't follow all of their advise, such as suggesting mothers go on a short weekend away while leaving the baby with dad, mostly because I never really felt the need and preparing to go on vacation seemed like more work than I wanted to do, but having a good perspective on your marriage even after the baby is born is so helpful and so needed.
Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay/Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years by Jim Fay and Charles Fay (best for ages 1-18)
So I haven't actually read the original Parenting with Love and Logic, my mother-in-law sent me the toddler book, but I love love love LOVE the parenting principles taught in these books. I actually was able to attend a free seminar last summer, and it was so good. The basic idea is to allow natural consequences to teach your child (instead of you constantly bailing them out of consequences), expressing real sympathy when they have to deal with those bad consequences, and allowing kids to have as many choices as possible. I've been trying to implement the love and logic dialogue into my life, since my first instinct is to always yell and nag (which is NOT parenting with love and logic). For instance, when Clara throws a tantrum, I say, "Babies who throw tantrums have to go to their room for 3 minutes." I don't offer any warnings, that is just the consequence of throwing a tantrum. When Clara begins to whine at me, I say, "I can't hear children who whine." (All of this within reason, of course, as long as her basic needs are met and this isn't just about a communication problem, which because Clara is still learning to talk, we're working through). I try to give her as much freedom to make her own choices as possible, even if that means she might hurt herself a little (not a lot). When she does fall off of a chair, I show genuine empathy that she got hurt (again, when we're not looking at a life threatening problem or a major injury). She is smart enough (and I know she's smart enough) not to make the same mistake again. I have allowed the natural consequences to teach her the lesson, instead of spending all my time trying to get her to not climb on the chair. I really do love this book a thousand times over, I'm going to re-read it over the next few weeks, and I suggest everyone give it a try. It's possible it's not for every family, but I really can not over emphasize how much this book has helped direct my parenting.
ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel (best for ages 1-18)
This is a recent one for me. While I was in Alaska, my mom and I attended a 4 day, 2 1/2 hour a day seminar about this parenting method, and I'm about half way through the book (the seminar was extensive enough that I feel comfortable reviewing the book). This is a great companion to Parenting with Love and Logic because they teach the same discipline principles, but ScreamFree Parenting is about focusing on ourselves as parents rather than on the kids. It says that we as adults need to grow up and be mature in order to effectively be the parent our kids need. My favorite thing it teaches is when we "scream" at our kids (or shut-down, or nag, or any sort of emotional re-activity) we're telling our kids, "I need you to behave so I can behave, because I'm incapable of controlling myself." And what a crazy thing to be telling our kids! The other thing I really liked about this book was the idea that we're not responsible for our children (meaning we can't control how they actually behave or the choices they make), but we are responsible to our children (providing them with the necessities of life, helping them understand consequences of their choices, etc). It means that I simply can't control whether or not Clara throws a tantrum on a plane. That is totally her choice. But I am responsible to her to make sure she is well-fed, has had plenty of sleep, has enough entertainment, etc. And ultimately, I am responsible to her that even if she does throw a tantrum (which she did, btw) not to freak out at her and start screaming, but to be the adult, to stay calm, to help her as much as possible, and to provide reasonable consequences for her choices.
Alright, these are my favorite, most helpful books I've read so far in parenting. I know some people may not be book people, and that's totally ok, but I find that reading parenting books has given me the guidence and confidence as a parent that I wouldn't have had otherwise. If anyone has any other suggestions, I'm always open to recommendations!
Back in Arizona!
No lies, that was the fastest 6 weeks of my life. I can't believe it's already over. I was really broken up over it the last week I was there. But how do you tell your husband that you've been gone 6 1/2 weeks, and if you could, you'd stay another 2? Well, clearly I told him, and I think overall we got a laugh, but really it was time to go home. (Also, my sister-in-law is getting married on Monday, and they already bought my ticket to the wedding from Phoenix, so there was no point in trying to stay...).
It was exactly what I needed. I love Fairbanks during the summer, even when it rains most days (frankly, you don't see a lot of rain in Phoenix, so that was kinda a special treat in and of itself), and I really love spending time with all the family. I actually stayed at my in-laws mostly, but spent many of the days with my family. I'm so grateful that they are willing to share my time without making me feel guilty at all. It makes the whole trip so fun without any guilt or stress. I loved having people to talk to during the day, I loved the cousins and aunts and uncles Clara got to spend time with, and I really loved being able to walk outside without melting.
Clara learned so many new things from spending time with her older cousins and aunt and uncle. She is talking WAY more, she seems (at least at this point) more willing to share, and in general she picked up some great big kid habits. I wish I could promise I was headed back next summer, but at this point we just don't know yet. But I'm hoping my mom and family will come down in February or March to visit US, which would be super fun (and, frankly, that's totally the time of year to get out of Alaska and come to warm Phoenix!).
Now back to real life! Ok, mostly. As I mentioned, we are actually headed back on a plane on Saturday to go to Salt Lake for Kaitlyn's wedding, and then we get back on Tuesday morning. And then 6 weeks later we're having a baby... so who knows what "real life" will be after that. I'm in the process of trying to deep clean the house and getting things organized before little Lucy makes her appearance. But the next few weeks are full of anticipation and excitement (despite the 112 degree weather... yuck), so I'm sure they will go by quickly!!
It was exactly what I needed. I love Fairbanks during the summer, even when it rains most days (frankly, you don't see a lot of rain in Phoenix, so that was kinda a special treat in and of itself), and I really love spending time with all the family. I actually stayed at my in-laws mostly, but spent many of the days with my family. I'm so grateful that they are willing to share my time without making me feel guilty at all. It makes the whole trip so fun without any guilt or stress. I loved having people to talk to during the day, I loved the cousins and aunts and uncles Clara got to spend time with, and I really loved being able to walk outside without melting.
Clara learned so many new things from spending time with her older cousins and aunt and uncle. She is talking WAY more, she seems (at least at this point) more willing to share, and in general she picked up some great big kid habits. I wish I could promise I was headed back next summer, but at this point we just don't know yet. But I'm hoping my mom and family will come down in February or March to visit US, which would be super fun (and, frankly, that's totally the time of year to get out of Alaska and come to warm Phoenix!).
Now back to real life! Ok, mostly. As I mentioned, we are actually headed back on a plane on Saturday to go to Salt Lake for Kaitlyn's wedding, and then we get back on Tuesday morning. And then 6 weeks later we're having a baby... so who knows what "real life" will be after that. I'm in the process of trying to deep clean the house and getting things organized before little Lucy makes her appearance. But the next few weeks are full of anticipation and excitement (despite the 112 degree weather... yuck), so I'm sure they will go by quickly!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
