Painfully Cute

Does anyone else ever look at their child and actually tear up because their child is so so so cute? I'm not saying that Clara is cuter than anyone else's kid, I'm just wondering if I'm having a very strange reaction. Of course, it's always kinda been this way... When she was born, I was so happy I cried, I used to smell her little baby head and tear up at the thought that anything were to ever happen to her... but as she's gotten older, and her cuteness has become more toddler-ish, I find sometimes she does cute things and it makes me so happy I tear up.

I have always said I love babies. I LOVE babies. Especially newborns. They're so sweet, so cuddly, so not-destructive. But I've been very nervous about toddlers. Basically babies who can run... to me it seemed to take away all the sweetness. Well, I am wrong, everyone. Very, very wrong. Maybe it's just that it's your own kid, but man I have LOVED walking and running Clara. These last few months have been a serious joy. Ok, the plane flights have been lame, but other than that, she's really been a dream. Anyway, I wanted to list the top 10 things she does that are SO CUTE that it makes me cry.

10. When she sees we're making a bottle of milk, she gets really happy and runs to the chair in her bedroom where we feed her before naps. She's all ready for her warm milk and cuddles!

9. When I put her in a shopping cart, she kinda jumps up and down likes she's riding a horse. She did that today at Walmart, and several older women almost died because she was so cute.

8. In Missouri, her favorite thing was this gentle yellow lab named Sandy. Sandy loved Clara. Clara just LOVED Sandy. Before dogs had scared Clara, but not Sandy. Sandy could lick all over Clara's face (yes, gross, I know), and Clara thought it was the best thing ever. I was so sad to have to separate Clara and Sandy... :(

7. When we're getting ready to leave, she gets SUPER excited. She knows that when we put on shoes and start looking for stuff (usually the keys), it's time to go, and oh man you better take her or she'll be MAD. She just loves going outside, and the minute you open the front door she laughs in delight.

6. She has her friend here, names Isla, who is just a few weeks older than her. They love to run around chasing each other, and then for no reason that we can discern, they suddenly just start laughing at each other. And they jabber nonsense words to each other. It's ridiculously cute.

5. All babies do this, but it's still adorable when she talks jibberish to herself. As if she's actually saying words. My favorite is when she's apparently alone (in bed waiting to go to sleep, or in her car seat) and she just starts talking to herself, apparently to keep herself company. She also sings to herself.

4. Lately she's been laughing out loud randomly. I have no idea why she does it, but I"ll be walking into the store, and she just starts giggling! Ok, maybe I just don't take her outside enough, but man it's fun to take her to the store.

3. One word: Signing. I haven't been super diligent about it, so she just knows just a couple of words: all done, eat and milk. But it's so cute. Today when we were at the store, she spent the whole trip signing "Eat" because I THINK she knew the items on the shelves were food... it's also possible she was politely telling me she was hungry... either way, very cute.

2. She. Loves. LOVES. LOOOOVES. Her Daddy. The first thing she says in the morning when I get her up is "Daddy!" (Still doesn't even say Mama) And then she goes and finds him. If he's still sleeping before work and our door is closed, she goes and bangs on the door saying, "Daddy!" They play hide and seek together. She gives him unsolicited kisses (no such luck for Mommy...).

1. She also loves her blanky. And it is SO cute. If we let her, she drags it around the house like Linus. I usually try to keep blanky to just a sleepy-time thing (if only I could do the same thing with the binky...), but if she can she likes to bring it with her. I have found that when she gets really upset, she likes to take her blanket, find a corner, and then stick her finger through some holes she's made over the last year. And the best part is when she's really tired, if she has her blanket, she'll bundle it up in her arms, put her face in it and snuggle with me. And fall asleep that way. It is SO CUTE.

Anyway, these things are so beautiful and wonderful to me, that sometimes I tear up. I think part of it is sadness at letting go of her baby years/toddler years... I suppose someday she will be a teenager who talks back to me (or, lets face it, a 5 year old who talks back to me), and it's so bittersweet letting go of these years. But in some good news, it really does seem to be getting better and better... Man, parenthood is so surprising!