Clara's antics....

Eating her food for once.

Since Clara turned 18 months old, she has suddenly become a whole lot of work!  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it HAS been totally exhausting and sometimes very frustrating for everyone involved.  She's just so busy and learning so much, and Mom is kinda a spoil-sport.  You know, saying no to climbing on the table, saying no to taking things out of the trash, saying no to taking highlighter to our walls, and basically saying no to all awesome and fun things this little lady wants to do.  About two weeks ago on an especially difficult day I caught her saying "No.  No.  NOOO!" (yelling the last no, of course) to her Pooh Bear.  It was a humbling mom moment.

Long gone are the days I could just hide things that I didn't' want her to have, and she would go find something else to do (or eat).  She remembers and knows exactly what she wants and WILL throw tantrums that include lying on the floor and kicking her feet.  Meal times, which have usually always been fairly easy for us, now include food strikes when I don't serve her what she wants.  And here's what kills: I would actually LOVE to make her what she wants (provided it has some nutritional value), but so far she can't really tell me.  She can say SOME stuff... but food isn't really on her list of words yet. It's incredibly frustrating for both of us.  I want to feed her something that she wants, but I also refuse to play a giant guessing game at every meal and become a short order cook.  I also decided a long time ago that I was going into this whole parenting thing believing, "Food isn't important."  The idea is that Clara doesn't have to eat all of her food, or any of it, if she doesn't want to.  She won't get anything else, but if she goes a little hungry (or if she just isn't hungry), it won't be a big deal.  When she's hungry, I will provide her with food and she will eat.  Meals do not need to be stressful.  But I can't seem to let go of this crazy instinct that my child MUST eat and I worry about it incessantly, even if I go through all my motions.  Anyway, that's a daily battle we're still fighting.  And continue repeating my mantra... "Food isn't important.  She will not die.  Food isn't important.  She will not die."

One day when Mom gave up, and she got an icee...  We were supposed to share. 

I talk about these difficulties because 1. I think it's important to be honest with ourselves and each other in our parenting struggles and 2. I also recognize these difficulties are a sign of her growing independence, and ultimately that's a good thing.  And with some struggles, there are many wonderful moments and some terribly cute things she does.  Her talking has really taken off.  I swear she says a new word a day, and just yesterday she said, "It is hot!" as clear as day.  She stills signs a lot, which I find really helpful.

Clara snuggling with her favorite person in the whole world... DADDY!

The most precious things she's started doing is showing so much kindness and affection.  She has never been a cuddly baby, and suddenly she comes up to give unsolicited snuggles, hugs and kisses.  She ADORES Jordan.  She mimics everything he does.  Last night as he was putting her to bed (early, because she has been throwing tantrums), she just snuggled up to him, pointing at their noses, their eyes, and their mouths, adn then smiling at the ceiling and looking at the fan.  I mentioned that really, Jordan is her best friend, and it's true.  Jordan is Clara's best friend, and I"m SO grateful that my baby has a wonderful, adoring father who WANTS to be her best friend.

Clara is... so difficult to describe.  The truth is that her personality is becoming so complex that it's hard to write about, because there are so many facets to her (as I'm sure this is true for all children).  Everyday I tell Jordan, "ACK!  Clara is SO difficult!"  And then at night, as I go to bed, I say to Jordan, "I love that baby so much.  I am so glad that she's ours.  Don't you think we could bring her into bed with us?"  Parenting is both so rewarding and so frustrating, and I often feel both those emotions all at once.  I love having the privilege of watching her grow into a little person.  And it's true... I AM so thankful she's mine.