Clara

She's here! And she's sooooo cute!

Born Tuesday, September 28th at 1:01am at 7 bl 13 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. And the baby's a GIRL! I still can't get over it. I really, really thought it was going to be a boy. Right after she was born, I was so exhausted from pushing and so surprised that she was a girl that I didn't have the typical outpouring of emotion. I just kept looking at Jordan going, "A girl? Really? Are you sure? It's really a girl?" At one point the nurses wanted me to look at her, exclaiming how cute she was. I was a little... loopy, I guess, because all I could say is, "I can't see her, I don't have my glasses on." Yeah, that's a loving mother for ya. :)

In my defense, right after she was born, there was a sudden flurry of activity and so much was going on and I was so shocked that I had a really hard time deciding what to focus on (I know, the baby probably should have been my first choice... come on, I just pushed the 7 pound baby out!). She ended up having some trouble with her lungs. She was breathing, and I heard her cry, but her lungs weren't fully inflating. I got to hold her for about 3 minutes before the whisked her away to the NICU for some sort of breathing treatment on the CPAP machine. We got her back about 2 1/2 hours later (now 3:30 am), and at this point I had come to my senses and all I wanted to do was snuggle her.

Since then, she's doing pretty well. She's a bit jaundiced, so she looks quite yellow. We've had to go in for a blood test the last three days, but no lights yet. And Jordan and I just can't get over how pretty and sweet she is. We just love looking at her and cuddling with her.

Every night that we've been home has gotten better. The first was the worst: I was the human pacifier. Since we've introduced a REAL pacifier, she sleeps better and only eats every two hours, NOT every hour (thank goodness!). We're both pretty sleep deprived, but we're in good spirits and surviving. I struggle to remember to eat and shower, but I figure after we get through these first two "survival" weeks, I'll get much better about being presentable. All in all, I'm SO happy she's here!

More unexpected blessings...

Well, the baby will be here in less than a week. Yesterday at my doctor's appointment, he said that while I wasn't dilated/effaced enough to induce now, basically no matter what we're going to induce next Monday. He'd still like it earlier if my body cooperates, so I'm getting checked again on Thursday to see if I've made any progress. The sad thing is I WAS making good progress with quite a few contractions and such until I was put on bedrest, and now everything has come to a halting stop. I might get a couple of good contractions a day, but not near as many as a week ago. Anywho, so I don't really think I'll be quite ready for a baby by my appointment on Thursday, but for SURE on Monday this little cutie is coming out!

While I'm wonderfully excited, I can also feel those moments of fear and anxiety creeping up. What the heck have I signed up for? My whole life is about to change, forever, I know it has, but there's not way I can know in how many ways... And w hat do I know about babies, anyway? Nothing! And so I find myself in the shower, utterly freaking out about what's about to happen.

And, lucky me, I get out of the shower, and I go whimper to Jordan, "Love, what have we done?!" And the strong, amazing man he is says, "Don't worry, we're going to be fine."

How lucky am I? Last night as I was laying in bed, I realized I have spent so many months and months anxiously worrying about Jordan getting a job, getting out of Provo, starting our "real lives," that I think I've missed one of the greatest, sweetest blessing in my life. Yes, it's hard not knowing our future, but for the next few weeks Jordan's going to be right by my side as I try to figure out this newborn baby thing. We don't have to worry about vacation days, or getting back to classes (if he was going to school...), and we don't have to worry about a move and not knowing those around us. As I'm facing childbirth and a new baby in the face, not having a job might be one of the best things that's ever happened, at least for now. I get the constant companionship of Jordan through these next stressful, exhausting weeks.

Of course, we still want a job, and the catch is that we are poor... but even that has been taken care of for us. Just last week, Jordan's work he does in Provo (which has been a little bit slow as of late) picked up in a big way and he'll be able to work from home and make some pretty good money for the next month or so. And even while I'm saying "Yay, Jordan doesn't have a job!" we have two really great job leads that are really promising. We've been taken care of in every way possible.

Bedrest...

That's the new official declaration by my doctor. It's been a really rough month of being pregnant: the flu, then a nasty cough, then some miserable back pain due to the cough (went to the chiropractor about that...), the flu again, then to the hospital because of suspected pre-eclampsia. And, after today, no more running errands.

The hospital trip was yesterday when my flu-like symptoms made me a bit suspicious there could be something more going on. I was also unusually swollen, without doing much walking around and I also had some really sudden weight gain (which has NOT been typical of my pregnancy), this combined with the fact that my blood pressure has been elevated since about week 20 made me worry that it could be pre-eclampsia. So we headed to the hospital on the advice of our brother-in-law doctor Bed (we love you Ben!), just to make sure everything was ok. After a series of tests, they went ahead and told me I could go home, but I had to take it easy and run some MORE tests, and see my Doctor on Tuesday.

Well, my Doctor got the hospital reports back this morning and decided it was necessary to see me today, to officially diagnose me with mild pre-eclampsia, tell me not to move around, that I have to take my blood pressure 4 times a day, and try to keep this baby in me for at least another week.

The good news is that bed rest doesn't mess me up too bad, since I basically hang around the house all day anyway. And since I'm full-term, I'm totally ok with this baby coming sooner rather than later, so I don't have much to complain about. Well, all the tests they made me take have not been a joy ride, but I'm happy to say I think this whole pregnancy thing should wrap up in the next two weeks! WOOHOO! I'm so excited to meet this little person!

Any bets yet on if it's a boy or girl?

Tender Mercies

So, many people know that Jordan and I have anxiously been waiting to hear back about this job in Boston. It's a great opportunity, Jordan liked the people, the interview went really well, and we were very, very hopeful. Today, however, we got a really disappointing "no" from them. For me, at least, this was pretty heartbreaking. It doesn't help that I'm 9 months pregnant and my hormones are all over the place, but I was pretty torn up about it. I was really trying to be strong for Jordan (and failing miserably), but Jordan was amazing. He was telling me that while he was disappointed, he certainly didn't feel the situation was hopeless. He felt good about other prospects and was prepared to keep working hard on applications. So, in the hour after we get the news, we're sitting together, me crying, Jordan consoling and both of us trying to figure out our next step, when the phone suddenly rings.

Jordan jokes, "Ha Ha, that'll be this company again..." when he looks at the number and realizes it's an East Coast number. To our astonishment, it's The Hartford, calling for an interview! They give a quick interview, explaining that they have a couple of openings available and Jordan was on their short list of possible candidates. In the end, they tell us that they'll give us a call in a few days to either schedule further phone interviews or a possible on-site interview.

Here's what's amazing about this: it's been MONTHS since any company has contacted us. MONTHS. Even more so, we had been trying to get a hold of the Hartford specifically for months as well. We started an application with them back in November, got turned down for a job in March, and when we were in Connecticut a few weeks ago, tried to get another interview. At that point they told us they were just going to hire out of their interns. And then, just an hour after we get a heartbreaking no from the Boston company, we get a call with another very hopeful (and very unexpected) lead!

As Jordan was on the phone, I couldn't help but say a prayer of thanks to Heavenly Father (and then I proceeded to cry some more, because that's what I do...). I know that the timing of the calls was not an accident. We are being watched and taken care of; Heavenly Father is very mindful of us and our situation. It reminded us that although things may be discouraging now, that eventually, somewhere out there, is the right job for us, and we shouldn't give up. He knows ME, He knows how afraid and scared I am, with a baby coming shortly and limited income, He knows how to tell me that He is still in charge, that we have not been forgotten.

This job may not be the job (although it is a pretty awesome opportunity), but today I am so grateful for Tender Mercies from the Lord. We will continue to work at these job applications as hard as we can, and trusting that there is a plan for us. That is not to say everything from here on out will be easy, because I know it won't, but I can rest assured that Jordan and I are not alone.

A pregnancy update...

Well, I'm well into my third trimester and less than 6 weeks away from my due date! I think this post is another "bullet point" type, simply because there's too much going on to work into coherent paragraph's (don't worry, I tried).

-The worst thing about the long road trip was my legs got MAJORLY restless. I think it's called restless leg syndrome, and it sometimes happens during pregnancy. Mostly, I just wanted to move my legs when I would be sitting in the car. Half the time we stopped not so I could just use the bathroom but so I could get my legs moving. Not fun.

-So, everyone else who's pregnant that I know keeps talking about their really bouncy, wiggly baby. Don't get me wrong, our baby definitely moves around and gets a little kicky sometimes, but overall I wouldn't describe this baby as especially bouncy. Which I think is great! I hope it means that we'll have a nice, calm, mellow baby, like Jordan was. Really, I just hope our baby is like Jordan was as a baby...

-At my doctor's appointment a week ago, I had an ultrasound to determine the position of the baby and such. Everything looks great, and the baby is still measuring about 10 days ahead! Woohoo! I really hopes this means the baby is going to make an appearance a bit early... although my mom likes to dash my hopes and just says I'm going to have an 11 pound baby a week late. Not cool!

-So, I managed to get the flu while in Connecticut visiting. It seems totally unfair that a huge 8 month pregnant woman gets the flu longer and more severe than anyone else in the house, but that's what happened. I've also been fighting a cold, which recently moved into my chest. It seems rather than my immunity being up, I feel way more susceptible to any little bug going around. I wish this cold would go away...

-Fun Fact: When I had the flu, I discovered you CAN throw up out the window of your car going down an interstate at 70 mph. But your car will need a wash afterward...

-Because of my cold, I went to the doctor yesterday to see if I could get something to help me sleep, and I found out in the last week I managed to LOSE 5 pounds. I don't know if I've ever heard of that in the third trimester...

-I still haven't packed on a bunch of weight with this baby because my appetite just hasn't really ever returned. I am officially 3 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. When we would go into restaurants while on the east coast, I think the waiters would look at me very pregnant and go "Score!" They were sorely disappointed when I would just order a salad. My poor tummy is so squished that I can hardly eat much at all.

-Heartburn is so not my friend. But I think I eat more tums than regular food...

-Here's my feeling on the gender: I think the baby is a boy. Now, this might be because Jordan's brainwashed me (he really wants a boy), but... I think it's a boy. Which is kinda sad because I sorta want a girl (I have so many cute cute girl clothes from my mom!!!). But my "mother's instinct" is saying "boy." Let's see how accurate that is!

-Overall, I'm getting super excited to meet our little baby! It's coming fast and I feel... calm. I'm trying to stay emotionally flexible and relaxed as much as possible, and I"m trying not to over-think things. We still have some necessities missing, mostly due to the fact that we may or may not be moving to Boston before the baby's born. So, the baby still doesn't have a place to sleep or a car seat or anything. But, you know, if I had the baby today, Jordan promised me he would go out and get those things I need, and we'll be just fine. I'm so excited to meet this little person. I know our lives are going to change dramatically, and that's always scary, but it's also fun and exciting! We have each other, and we have the gospel and can pray to Heavenly Father, and we have really supportive families behind us. I think we're going to do just fine. :)

The Baby or BYU Football?

Jordan and I just returned from a long roadtrip across the USA, and with that we had LOTS of time to talk. With college football season fast approaching, we talked a lot about BYU football and such. Now, I know Jordan loves BYU football, but the amount of his obsession only recently became clear. On our way there, we had this conversation:

Amanda: "Now, Jordan, you realize that we won't ALWAYS be able to rearrange our schedule every single BYU game day, right?"
Jordan: "Why not?"
Amanda: *shocked* "Um, because you're saying that almost every Saturday from September-December we'll have to work around a football game for the rest of our lives."
Jordan: "And this is a problem because..."
Amanda: "Uh, what if our kids have a soccer game?"
Jordan: "Oh, I'll have a smart phone by then and I'll be able to watch it there."

etc.

Of course, when ever I start getting to involved in talking about baby stuff and when the baby comes, Jordan's favorite change of topic has been to turn it to BYU football.

Here's another we had during our many car rides:
Amanda: "So, Jordan, do you promise that if I go into labor during a BYU football game that you'll come to the hospital with me."
Jordan: "Well, I mean, if you're just 'in labor' with an epidural and it's going to be hours before the baby's born, wouldn't be ok if I went to the game? I mean, if you're going to have the baby RIGHT THEN, then I suppose I'll miss the game..."

The big question came on our trip home, when I asked:
Amanda: "So, Jordan, if BYU went to a BCS Bowl this season, what would be the bigger event of 2010: Our first child being born, or BYU going to a BCS Bowl."
Jordan: *silence*
Amanda: "Did you hear me?"
Jordan: "Yes, I'm thinking about it... that's really hard to say."

....

Amanda: "YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT?"
Jordan: "HA! If BYU goes to a BCS bowl, they won't play until 2011! So, the biggest event of 2010 will be the baby, and the BCS bowl will be a 2011 event!"
Amanda: *stunned silence*

So THAT'S where his priorities are... :) Hahahaha

DISCLAIMER: Of course, Jordan is very excited for the baby, and I'm sure that if I was going into labor, he'd miss the game (but we'd probably watch it in our hospital room... hey, I like BYU football too!), and I'm sure he'll be very happy to have a baby AND have BYU win.

Connecticut!

So, after Mandy and Casey left for Missouri, Jordan and I decided to take our oft rescheduled trip to Connecticut! What a great decision it was, too. The drive was INCREDIBLY long (3 days of driving at least 12 hours... ouch!), but it was fun to drive through states we'd never been in. Jordan and I tend to be pretty happy travelers and we enjoy our time together (although by that last day we were getting a bit short with one another...). The hardest part is my pregnancy, and drinking lots of water and needing to use the bathroom basically once ever 1-2 hours. We soon figured out the best method was to use rest stops instead of stopping at a gas station off the highway every time. On the East Coast, too, they have cool rest stops that have gas stations and McDonalds and stuff, so you don't have to really get off the highway. AWESOME!

My new favorite discovered pregnancy/travel meal? MacDonald's smoothie with a large fry... SO good!

So, we got a Connecticut and proceeded to thoroughly enjoy ourselves just spending time with the Jacobs! I think Kelly was concerned that we weren't out doing enough stuff, but really Jordan and I just enjoyed hanging out at her place, eating out at the GREAT restaurants they took us to, and napping on her couch. I really loved just being able to walk into her kitchen just to talk and such. One day we went swimming, which was super fun in the hot weather, and another day we went to a monster themed miniature golf course (where I beat Jordan!). Kelly is due with her baby in October just a few weeks after me, so we got to complain and talk about babies together, which was SUPER useful for me. If I had a weird symptom, I was just able to ask Kelly who would usually say, "Oh, yeah, that happens all the time!"

The other big thing that happened was Jordan got an interview with a company in Boston, about an hour away from Kelly and Braden. We drove up there and stayed the night for that. The interview went super well, although we still haven't heard back yet. Think good thoughts for us! Boston would be a great place to live.

We drove down to DC to spend some time with Kelly, her girls, Kaitlyn and Jordan's mom. The drive was way interesting, driving through NYC and Baltimore and such. I was utterly TERRIFIED! It was so scary to drive through NYC! Jordan laughed at me the whole time because I found myself clutching my seat belt in anxiety.

The two days in DC were fun, although I was limited in stuff to do because of the pregnancy. The second day we went to the Smithsonian, and on the way we saw the capitol and the Washington Monument from a far, so I feel that I got my "DC sightseeing" in. The Smithsonian was SUPER cool, although by the end I'm pretty sure I was having some contractions and I was totally exhausted. We ate at some really excellent restaurants in DC as well, and overall we had a great time.

Traveling back to Utah, we stopped in Bloomington to visit Mike and Anna for a couple of days. I really enjoyed seeing the Bloomington Library and going to their ward with them (also, Anna makes AMAZING cookies!). We played some games and got lots of chances to talk. We stayed an extra day hoping to hear from some companies about an interview in Michigan, possibly, but no luck. We drove the last two days back to Provo!

Our trip lasted about 3 1/2 weeks! Really, I am so grateful we went, because I would have been so bored just sitting in Provo. Instead, I got out and saw family, Jordan and I were able to feel like we made progress in the job search, and now we're just weeks away from the baby being born! We had so much fun seeing everyone. It was a great way to use our last big of freedom after school, but before work and a baby keep us tied down again.