Day Twenty: This Month

So, this last month has been spent trying to figure out my life here in Arizona. Jordan's no longer home with me, it's just Clara and I. Which usually isn't bad at all. She's a good, easy baby. I spend some time playing with her, and then let her play with her toys and figure out how to crawl while I try to get some cleaning done.

Really, the last month has just been dealing with loneliness. I think this is something every new mom goes through, usually just earlier than I did. But now, I'm home alone in a new city and I'm just trying to figure out what to do with my time! It's not that I don't have stuff to do, but a lot of this last month has been finding ways to structure my days so I'm not going crazy.

For the most part, I feel like I'm starting to get my daily rhythm. My house is relatively neat, I keep up on the dishes, do those weekly cleaning things that need to get done. I've managed not to spend my days eating bon-bons and watching soaps (by "bon-bons" I mean anything chocolate and by "soaps" I mean Netflix). Clara's on a flexible schedule, and I try to get out every now and then. Going for walks is going to get more difficult into the summer, though...

But really, my biggest struggle has been to make friends. I like socializing. I really do. But how do you actually make friends when you're a mostly home-bound mom? Usually I meet peoplethrough church, but our ward is different. Clara's the youngest baby there (for now), and there are very few small children. So no mother's groups and very few other women in my situation. I did find out that my downstairs neighbor also has a baby... but I have to be brave enough to go introduce myself. This whole friends thing used to happen naturally: I went to class, met people, we ended up doing more and more together and ta-da! I have friends.

So, the trick is I have to go find somewhere to socialize. There's no playgrounds close (and Clara really is too small). I'm working on the whole church thing. Even though there aren't women who are in my exact situations doesn't mean I can't make friends. So there's some hope there. Really, the truth is that it's just going to take time. Until then? Maybe I'll just have to be a little lonely. And I think I'm ok with that.

Update

Yes, I know I'm failing at my 30 day challenge. In my defense, I"m too busy. So we're going to take a little "hiatus" from it and just plow through the next few busy weeks. I have SO much I need to get done. The good news is that a LOT of it can be done from home with phone calls and the internet (thank you Ensign and renter's insurance). But there's just a lot of little odds and ends that need to be taken care of before I can leave.

We got an apartment! It's 3 minutes away from Jordan's work. We haven't seen it, so here's to hoping it's as great as the internet says it is! We're looking for someone to take over our apartment. lame. But, yeah, just chugging a long and trying to get everything in order! Wish us luck!

The Job

Well, we knew someday it would happen, but it seemed like it never would. And here it is: we have a job! Well, Jordan has a job. He'll be working for Milliman in Scottsdale, AZ. We're SO excited, but we can hardly believe it's actually happening. And so quickly!

It's the perfect place for Jordan to begin his career. Small office (he'll be the 8th person) in a big company (you can find Milliman in every major city). It's a consulting company (rather than an insurance company like BlueCross BlueShield or Travelers) so he'll work with clients and get a really broad set of experiences.

I've been saying for months that we're willing to go where ever we're needed, and I can say we're definitely eating our words. :) I can't say Arizona was on our top picks of places we wanted to move. The summers are going to be HOT! But we are willing to go anywhere and be happy, and that includes Arizona. That being said, May-September, you can find me indoors right next to the air conditioning...

I just have to take a moment and talk about how grateful we are to our family and friends who have been fasting and praying for us. We had a family fast at the beginning of the year, where both my parents and siblings and Jordan's parents and siblings fasted that we would get a job. We did this knowing full well that we may NOT get a job, that it might not be what Heavenly Father has in mind for us. We are so grateful that things have worked out the way we hoped.

I kept hearing a quote this week at church, "Pray as if everything depended on the Lord, but work as if everything depended on you." I wish we could say that we totally lived up to this, but we're human and I can't say we did everything we could to find a job. So much credit goes to Heavenly Father for helping us find the right people at the right time. I know He has a plan for our lives, and I have seen His hand in all that we do. I hope that this can stand as a testament in our lives about the importance of prayer, obedience and faith.